Toolbox

September 20

Toolbox

I know just how hard it is to pick up the right tools. It's like I know I have a hammer in the drawer, in fact I have two, so, why oh, why do I feel compelled to hit things with the heel of my shoe? Trust and believe it is ineffective at best; additionally it is embarrassing. I wish I could say I have done this a handful of times, unfortunately, I have done it over and over, it’s hell on my shoes and worse on my morale. Using what is at hand or foot may seem practical, but it is not prudent. Walking myself through the step by step process; reading and following directions is easier but only when I disengage the lie that says it’s harder.

Build a canopy over elucidation

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SAFETY IN MY CHAIR

Sometimes

I have to sit with my knees

Tucked up under my chin

My feet can’t touch the floor

At these moments I hug my legs to me.

I feel contained

But somehow adrift in my chair.

I center my mind on breath and pulse

Pure fear flits and flutters

While I gain my composure.

When I feel safe enough

To put one foot down

Then the other and connect

With the world again.

I am leaving home to embark this earthly trek

The journey is there for me everyday

But some days I curl up in my chair.