April 6
Fearing Fearlessness
How many times have I given the credit to night blind fear,
credit due the brave persistent child?
How many times have I blamed the willing diligent pursuer when the fault
was the backstabbing delay of mistrust?
I resist the onset of freedom.
Fear was my oldest familiar and I put from my mind that it was my jailer,
captor; kidnapped me from my cradle and kept me locked from G-d’s fine
intentions. Fearlessness sounds
debilitating to my crippled ears, organs who hear well the disclaimers and are
deaf to the claims. I am the producer of
bile and addicted to dread, endorphins wear white hats and win the day once
this yellow belly is put to bed.
Allow yourself distance from uncomfortable people
*
BIRDS AND BEES
Birds and Bees can get me drunk
I have to watch the amount of envy
Which pours through me as I watch their bliss
When others make a beeline to the hive
I must head to a meeting and save myself despair
If my spiritual condition is not sound
When other couples are weaving their nests
I have to be careful
Not to weave my way back to the bar
The mating dance is so sweet and seductive
I have to make sure
I don't end up doing the two step
For as much as I hate to admit it
If steps one and twelve where enough to keep me sober
The rest would not have needed to be written
Birds and Bees can get me drunk
I have to watch the amount of envy
Which pours through me as I watch their bliss
When others make a beeline to the hive
I must head to a meeting and save myself despair
If my spiritual condition is not sound
When other couples are weaving their nests
I have to be careful
Not to weave my way back to the bar
The mating dance is so sweet and seductive
I have to make sure
I don't end up doing the two step
For as much as I hate to admit it
If steps one and twelve where enough to keep me sober
The rest would not have needed to be written
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way
to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
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