What's Mine is Mine

December 21

WHAT’S MINE IS MINE

I don’t always know how to get the dog off the baby.  The attacks are often sudden and always swift.  My shock at the reality delays my response, falters my steps and fogs my mind.  What should I do to disengage this assault?  What can I do that won’t make things worse?  How can I resolve this now?  The pain is almost unimaginable but yet all too familiar.  It all comes down to ownership.  I must admit this baby is me.  I have to face facts; this dog is my pet, I have fed, nurtured and groomed him and now I have to put this dog to sleep.

Explore the air not just the dirt.

*

A Thousand Windowed House

I am like a house with a thousand windows.

When I am lit up inside

you can see all the way through;

When I go dark

the reflection of the world around me is all

that is visible when you look my way.

My sprawling mind is what creates this effigy of me.

A tribute when I am well tended

and a fire trap when I neglect my duties.

If I learn to celebrate in all the rooms

this house is my home,

so I must practice; dance and sing in the hallways.

So I can pirouette into the rooms with full voice.

For what is the point of being a house

with a thousand windows, if I don’t live there?

Vlog:  http://youtu.be/R31c3Ax_Sw0

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

What's Mine Is Mine

December 21

WHAT’S MINE IS MINE

I don’t always know how to get the dog off the baby.  The attacks are often sudden and always swift.  My shock at the reality delays my response, falters my steps and fogs my mind.  What should I do to disengage this assault?  What can I do that won’t make things worse?  How can I resolve this now?  The pain is almost unimaginable but yet all too familiar.  It all comes down to ownership.  I must admit this baby is me.  I have to face facts; this dog is my pet, I have fed, nurtured and groomed him and now I have to put this dog to sleep.

Explore the air not just the dirt.

*

A Thousand Windowed House

I am like a house with a thousand windows.

When I am lit up inside

you can see all the way through;

When I go dark

the reflection of the world around me is all

that is visible when you look my way.

My sprawling mind is what creates this effigy of me.

A tribute when I am well tended

and a fire trap when I neglect my duties.

If I learn to celebrate in all the rooms

this house is my home,

so I must practice; dance and sing in the hallways.

So I can pirouette into the rooms with full voice.

For what is the point of being a house

with a thousand windows, if I don’t live there?

Reflections of You

October 21

REFLECTIONS OF YOU

When people meet me they listen and stare, then the familiar words tumble from their mouths, “there is something about you.”  I know it’s the reflection of every person I saw at the meeting last night, the sober voices that created them, also the mirror of years spent in rooms just the same.  I know this is what is seen in me.  The bright light shines on me and the prism of time fans the colors to my new acquaintance.  I thank my Higher Power for letting me be a spectral instrument and I am grateful to the fellowship for shining the light on and through me.

Recycle absolutes into planters.

*

Canine Comprehension

I wonder what it is that the dog knows.

True love, quantum physics,

the ratio of lift to thrust required to make the ball fly,

how food shared from my plate

is better than food from her bowl.

This begs the next question.

What do I really know; song lyrics, nursery rhymes,

old scores from old grudges?

What I hope I have learned;

is the space it takes to keep an open mind,

the willingness required to make a real change,

and the width, depth and breath of honest affection.

If I haven’t learned these things

I will put them at the top of my list of things to do.

Because I believe I can teach this old dog a few new tricks.

Works

September 24

WORKS

I cry the waterworks so necessary to the healing of my heart.  I explode with the fireworks required for anger to set living boundaries.  I sleep the sleep of angels, as I link to dreamworks allowing mental maintenance to occur.  Slipping into my political face I make time for public works.  I return to my abode, call the pie maker and order ‘the works.’  Have it delivered so I can face the mountain of homework waiting for me and bearing my name.

Suggest solutions in your diary.

*

No Dialing Tonight.

When it is late at night and I can’t sleep

I wander and putter and plan my dreams.

I hold out hopes and wash their faces;

pray for rain and clean all traces.

Thunderstorms rumble and lightning strikes;

I tune up the plumbing and wipe down the pipes.

All the paint and promises in the world won’t change me;

I’m still lost in the dark without you.

Tear stains are friendly till I wash them away

leaving blotchy eyes that can’t be explained;

an aching heart that keeps on ticking

and wishes that can’t come true.

Sunday morning is here, too soon

and life rolls on whether you think it should.

Tiny thoughts come out to play

and sad, sad fears keep them at bay.

But the dog is curled up under the covers without a care;

I long to disturb her but do not dare.

She is the queen here and I’m but the naïve;

I’ll tend to my writing and try to be brave.

For the dawn will follow this endless nocturne;

the whole world will be safe once more.

I will cry but it’s all too late;

though you are merely a phone call away.

The Poodle

July 1

THE POODLE

Those pointed toes, slender legs carry her across my outstretched mid.  What a blessing to be sober long enough to have never done any unseemly or frightful thing which might have caused apprehension in this firefly of a dog.  I read until she lays her neck over my mouth for her kisses and ear rubs.  She is the center of the universe and I needn’t compete.  I am content to serve as resting place and nursemaid.  I no longer look to be everyone’s pet.  I can pamper and indulge this little one.  She has the whole stage to herself.  I can be her faithful audience having given up my farce.

Carry a picture of you in your wallet.

*

Trouble with Geometry

You are not allowed to get into trouble on purpose,

that’s the rule and if you do

you will get no sympathy that’s the corollary.

Life is too hard to go looking for trouble.

Running toward danger,

whining about self-inflicted pain.

The unspoken law of risk taking

is that failure is dealt with in silence.

Writhing on the ground

after sticking your head in a hornet’s nest,

leaves me and the world I know

to be speechless in your presence.

I know you desire consolation from me.

All I know to say is that your actions

are incongruent with your life.

Rex

August 31

Rex

Hungry dogs who love me anyway, dance around waiting to be fed. If they didn’t love they would take bloody bites and I don’t forget it. These puppies have teeth, like cigarettes I want to smoke but don’t. And meanwhile back on the farm I seek to quiet the whines and barking of the unfed, malnourished familiarity which writhes at my ankles and jumps at my knees. I can no longer pat my disquiet on the head and expect it to stay or heal. I must hunt down the beast which bothers me and feed the meat of it to the pups. I must not leave the lopers to quarry my burden if I want to remain master and leave them to be pet.

Rip yourself away from distress

*

DO YOU HEAR THAT SOUND

I was running on empty

And thought I was getting along that way

But the smoke gave me away.

My life had caught on fire

And I burned to the ground.

I thought nothing had been apparent

Until it all lay in ashes.

My sponsor said, No-------

We all knew when you tank ran dry.

The sucking sound could be heard for miles around.

I asked her, if that were true,

Why I hadn’t hear it myself?

She said, she guessed,

I had my denial turned up to loud.