Alconaut

December 25

ALCONAUT



Want to learn it fast but not deep? Just go to meetings and listen with half an ear. Call your sponsor only for her birthday and anniversary and tell her about all the things you are not doing anymore but none of the things you are. Skim the books for good quotes that sound impressive when they pass your lips but whose meaning has no chance of passing your heart. Find playmates and cliques, not a home group, and surely not a service commitment. Things fall out of orbit when they run out of juice and you will too. This program is not an air lock on the way to worlds unknown; it is a way to live in the world you know. There is no question that you have the right stuff. The question is, do you want what we have?

Hug your feelings, pat their heads, then let them go.

All Better Now

May 17

ALL BETTER NOW


Mother kissed the booboo and I wait for the admonition to take effect. Waiting, I count the problems like telephone poles on a long journey. What will it be like, the world all better? The anticipation nearly breaks me for awhile until waiting turns to disbelief. A chill fills the space and 'all better' becomes the cry. My sponsor calls for moderation and lowering my expectation. The child’s ears ring with the promise to be fulfilled. She can not give herself over to a world where a Band-Aid is not a cure-all but only a cover for the slow work of internal healing, scars and all. Sheer survival is not sufficient for the screaming toddler; heartbreak from injustice calls for more than endurance. But, alas, a kiss is all we have.


Time pulls the tide and the tide pulls you; let it.