Pucker Up

February 28

Pucker Up

The gifts I never expected, never knew I needed, never imagined wanting, arrive wrapped in fretful apprehension more often than not.  “Who knew?”  I ask myself standing swathed in a skin I never realized I owned.  My identity has been handed to me an article at a time, each item less likely than the last.  Do they fit, yes of course, fit as if they were made for me, fit because they are me.  My inability to recognize myself is a stumbling block; my willingness to try is my salvation. Though there are times when a kiss is just a kiss, there are other times when a kiss can change the whole world. 

Quarter your difficulties, dice your recriminations

*

YARD BOAT

Early in my life, I lived in a gated yacht club,
The canal passing in front of my home.
I had no boat
I didn't know how to sail
I had not a thought of learning.
In later years, I learned to sail.
I covered the water in choppy tacks
And prayed for safe returns to shore.
Those were the years with a yard boat.
Covered in a tarp, the blue sided craft sat dry
The sun and wind taking their toll
The vessel stayed on the trailer
Waiting to be towed.
At the reservoir it would fill
Water leaking in from every joint.
I would bail and sail with all my heart.
Timing has never been my strong suit.
Rare are the times when all the ingredients
Come together in my life.
I have used this as an excuse
To feel like a failure.
I have used it to blame and dismiss God.
I have used it to avoid pursuit of opportunities.
I have averted my attention from the satisfactions in my life.
Living on the water is a pleasure
And stolen moments tacking in the basin of Round Valley
An equal joy.
Happy with what I have makes MORE a surprise
Not a necessity.

Street Signs

May 6

STREET SIGNS

Hanging out on the corner of Disillusion Boulevard and Grief Road, then returning to that special spot on Despair Avenue, was my daily routine.  I made the circle and never looked far afield.  Widening my circuit allowed me to find Anticipation Place and Hopeful Terrace.  I pushed my search and found roads, whose existence I never fathomed, intersecting, creating areas of intrigue.  Optimism Court interfacing with Realization Way is the fairest of my finds, but many a fine street corner has me lurking, catching stray sunshine and encouragement.  I make my home wherever the hospitality is available and return less often to the dark and stifling places of the past.  Happiness is where you find it.  Just make sure to read the signs.

Exponential growth is a little thing that affects you in a big way.

*

A Good Ship

Recently my life has taken on a surreal quality.

I stand in front of myself

as if I were a business to be run

or a project to be undertaken.

The intensity, uncertainty and drama

seem to be on the wane.

There are choices to be made

and outcomes to be determined.

This is all work and numbers,

nothing at risk below the skin.

My heart is secure, true love its protector,

faith its inborn light.

I am docked in safety harbor;

the waves may rock me,

but my anchor holds me fast.

The Tide in Texas

June 24

The Tide in Texas

I cannot tell you of my pain, how the liars took me off my land, how my heart lay shattered all around, how I’m so foolish and left in town. I cannot show you the big red ball, which to me is a shame or how it bobs and sways or how the tail of it hangs out of reach and taunts me all the day. But growing up to face the facts and finding my strong legs has put me to another tact and sucks the mud away. Sharing my disappointment and my grief is like adding ballast to the boats. It lifts us all instead of sinking me. Not much of a price to pay.

Cruise your assets

*

RENTING JOY

I cannot buy happiness

No matter how much money I spend,

No matter how hard I work,

I can never pay bliss off on layaway.

The angles of escape for glee are phenomenal

I see runaway emotions and concede ownership

When opportunities arise for satisfaction

I pay the fare and take the trip.

The boat isn’t mine to keep

But the tour is forever in my heart.

I can’t take it home and bury it in the yard

I need to enjoy each measure while the music plays.

I remunerate for time in proximity

Delight arrives and stays as long as it likes

I linger at the table and enjoy my desert

Leasing elation is an occasion of celebration.

Living moment to moment

Has given me this chance

So I take it.