Showing posts with label buttons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buttons. Show all posts

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Responding to Response

January 25

Responding to Response

Thankfully I’m not in charge of what is so freely given in this program. I want it to be available, but I want gratitude to be the universal response.  At first I thought I couldn’t understand how anyone could hold this gift in their hands and not feel grateful, truth is I know exactly how that’s done and I don’t want to look at that ugly thing.  “Cunning, Baffling, Powerful” But they left out how repulsive it is, maybe they didn’t want to see it either, or thought it was self-explanatory.
No matter which, I’m glad I am not the arbiter of the flowing fount that is recovery, I might have been tempted to cap and meter it, killing all the beauty and wild randomness that makes it real and true.  I despair that others don’t recover as I recover and yet I am relieved that I didn’t have to drink as they drank. 
I have to see those around me well enough to stay out of their traps or follow their leads, whichever is appropriate, but I don’t have to adjudicate their reply.

Pick up sticks and put downs stones

*

THE BUTTON BOX

I go to my button box
To sort out my life.
I lay out the matching sets
The various sizes, shapes and colors.

Coat buttons are commanding
But unsuitable for delicate places.
The tiny pearl buttons with shanks pull my attention
But work well only on silks.

The metal, shell and horn buttons
Come from such far off places
And all end up crossing my table
As I try to see clearly how to stick with the winners.

I know the people represented in this box.
The strong, the loud, the beautiful.
I know the weak and the unique,
The ones of special circumstances and occasions.

I come to the realization the simple ones,
The buttons sewn on the inside,
The ones who silently give strength
And support to the large and the small alike.

The ones which come in every shade and size,
Who match their ability
To service they render others,
These are my favorites.

They make secure all the things I love and trust
Flat and unobtrusive these buttons
Hold fast the fabric of my life.



You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

Saturday, May 17, 2014

All Better Now

May 17



ALL BETTER NOW


Mother kissed the booboo and I wait for the admonition to take effect.  Waiting, I count the problems like telephone poles on a long journey.  What will it be like, the world all better?  The anticipation nearly breaks me for a while until waiting turns to disbelief.  A chill fills the space and 'all better' becomes the cry.  My sponsor calls for moderation and lowering my expectation.  The child’s ears ring with the promise to be fulfilled.  She can not give herself over to a world where a Band-Aid is not a cure-all but only a cover for the slow work of internal healing, scars and all.  Sheer survival is not sufficient for the screaming toddler; heartbreak from injustice calls for more than endurance.  But, alas, a kiss is all we have.


Time pulls the tide and the tide pulls you; let it.
*


Who Rang?


Examine the instillation of your buttons
as a process of discovery for disabling them.
Pay attention to the wiring but also to the hardware.

Sometimes the advertising is the thing
which keeps alive something better off put to rest.
Many things are rooted in other pots
and have a lifeline from outside of the current host.

All the connections and housing should be explored
as well as what work the mechanism does once pressed.
Is there a gong, tinkling bells?

Does it release the wolves from their den or tiger from his lair?
Information is a tool which never fails to help me
in disassembling the traps and their triggers
I must not shy from the gathering.


You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Button Box

January 26


BUTTON BOX

I go to my button box to sort out my life.  I lay out matching sets, the various sizes, shapes and colors.  Coat buttons are commanding but unsuitable for the delicate places.  The tiny pearl buttons with shanks pull my attention but work well only on silk.  The metal, shell, and horn buttons come from such far off places and all end up here crossing my table, as I try to see clearly how to stick with the winners. 
I know the people represented in this box, the strong, the loud, the beautiful.  I know the weak, the unique, the ones of special circumstances and occasion.  I come to the realization the simple ones, the buttons sewn on the inside, the ones who silently give strength and support to the large and small alike, the ones which come in every shade and size, which match their ability to the service they can render others, these are my favorites.  They make secure all the things I love and trust in sobriety.  Flat and unobtrusive, these buttons hold fast the fabric of my life.


Name your pens and pencils.
*



Responding to Response

Thankfully I’m not in charge
of what is so freely given in this program.
I want it to be available,
but I want gratitude to be the universal response.

At first I thought I couldn’t understand
how anyone could hold this gift in their hands
and not feel grateful,
truth is I know exactly how that’s done
and I don’t want to look at that ugly thing.

“Cunning, Baffling, Powerful”
But they left out how repulsive it is,
maybe they didn’t want to see it either,
or thought it was self-explanatory.

No matter which,
I’m glad I am not the arbiter
of the flowing fount that is recovery,
I might have been tempted to cap and meter it,
killing all the beauty and wild randomness
that makes it real and true.

I despair that others don’t recover as I recover
and yet I am relieved that I didn’t have to drink as they drank.
I have to see those around me well enough
to stay out of their traps or follow their leads,
whichever is appropriate,
but I don’t have to adjudicate their reply.



You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

Thursday, May 17, 2012

All Better Now


May 17

ALL BETTER NOW


Mother kissed the booboo and I wait for the admonition to take effect.  Waiting, I count the problems like telephone poles on a long journey.  What will it be like, the world all better?  The anticipation nearly breaks me for a while until waiting turns to disbelief.  A chill fills the space and 'all better' becomes the cry.  My sponsor calls for moderation and lowering my expectation.  The child’s ears ring with the promise to be fulfilled.  She can not give herself over to a world where a Band-Aid is not a cure-all but only a cover for the slow work of internal healing, scars and all.  Sheer survival is not sufficient for the screaming toddler; heartbreak from injustice calls for more than endurance.  But, alas, a kiss is all we have.


Time pulls the tide and the tide pulls you; let it.
*


Who Rang?


Examine the instillation of your buttons
as a process of discovery for disabling them.
Pay attention to the wiring but also to the hardware.

Sometimes the advertising is the thing
which keeps alive something better off put to rest.
Many things are rooted in other pots
and have a lifeline from outside of the current host.

All the connections and housing should be explored
as well as what work the mechanism does once pressed.
Is there a gong, tinkling bells?

Does it release the wolves from their den or tiger from his lair?
Information is a tool which never fails to help me
in disassembling the traps and their triggers
I must not shy from the gathering.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Who Rang?

May 19

Who Rang?

Examine the instillation of your buttons as a process of discovery for disabling them. Pay attention to the wiring but also to the hardware. Sometimes the advertising is the thing which keeps alive something better off put to rest. Many things are rooted in other pots and have a lifeline from outside of the current host. All the connections and housing should be explored as well as what work the mechanism does once pressed. Is there a gong, tinkling bells? Does it release the wolves from their den or tiger from his lair? Information is a tool which never fails to help me in disassembling the traps and their triggers I must not shy from the gathering.

If you reframe the past don’t crop reality

*

NETWORKS

Testing my sponsor when I’m hurt

Is like probing for gas with a lit cigar in my mouth

If I can’t find a way to douse the cheroot before posing my questions

It’s guaranteed I will get an explosive response

I need a network

They follow me with sand

Snatch from me my burning pacifier

And save me from sticking my smoldering end where it doesn’t belong

We all need a little excitement in our lives

But don’t have to become an incendiary device to fill the need

I forget that boring isn’t the same as death

It just feels that way

Some days distance prevents disaster

A good support system carries me away

To face it on another day.