Chapter and Verse

April 28

CHAPTER AND VERSE

I remember being trained and rehearsed for finding the words which would release my soul from bondage.  The scrupulous concern for detail pointed me to heaven.  And yet I drank.  Inside these rooms the path is wide, judgment is suspended and I have the right to be wrong.  The penalties for error can be great but the privilege and risk are mine.  As in all things, the extremists come.  They have come to this place, too.  Thumpers hound and belittle, threaten and cajole. They tell page numbers like punch lines and narrow the field at every opportunity.  I can’t stay sober sitting on my old stool and I can’t maintain this desire by their chapter and their verse.

Notes are numbers, so count out your time and sing your song.

*

Jane Street

The space between wanting to live

and not wanting to hurt

is the alley in which I live.

This lane is not as narrow as you might think,

In some places there is room for parking on one side.

Since I reside here more often than not

I have filled it with many of the appliances,

which allow me to pretend at life.

It doesn’t afford a truly clean or cheerful locale,

but there are laughs, sometimes flowers in the spring.

Finding my way out of this is tricky.

When unlocked I find these are backdoors to commerce

and though better than being sold wholesale,

retail is not what I was hoping to find

as I wrest myself from a confined existence.

I have heard of those who

drive through plate glass ignoring the structure.

I think this is less workable from the back.

What is left when I can’t bully or climb?

I guess I will have to throw my hands up and pray.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Ground Floor

April 19

Ground Floor

Step 10 is the place where the doors slide open and I discover I am out of the basement.  I have to pay close attention to where my feet are; it is so easy to stumble here in the light of day.  Oblivious limitations and universally accepted interpretations are pried from installation and put on trial.  Never is it acceptable to allow my alcoholic thinking to make decisions for my sober life. The road to my door must be kept clear so I can get out to do my part and so G-d can come home to me.

Spin heads, spin tales, spin dry

*

CHAPTER & VERSE

I remember being trained and rehearsed for finding the words

Which would release my soul from bondage

The scrupulous concern for detail pointed me to heaven

And yet I drank.

Inside these rooms the path is wide

Judgment is suspended and I have the right to be wrong

The penalties for error can be great

But the privilege and risk are mine

As in all things, the extremists come

They have come to this place too

Thumpers hound and belittle

Threaten and cajole

They tell page numbers like punch lines

And narrow the field at every opportunity

I can't stay sober sitting on my old stool

I can't maintain desire by their chapter and their verse.