Optical Illusion

July 6

OPTICAL ILLUSION

From the right angle a hatpin can appear taller than the Empire State Building.  I can skew my perspective to such an extreme or let my disease do it for me.  I can believe myself to be other than I am: the sweetest, kindest------smartest, quickest------smallest, slowest-------lowest, meanest.  I can see myself as all this and more as long as I squint with one eye and look at only half of any issue.  I can play the parts and act as if these things are true.  I can even get others to play along.  I can make fantasy fact if I lower the floor.  I can die in the basement, many do.  I can turn my face from science and be the center of all that spins..…OR….. I can climb the stairs to ground level.  I can turn my mind to facts and fractions.  Leave my better-than, less-than universe and see the height of everything and stand tall with both my eyes open.

Put a surprise in your pocket.

*

Keeping My Seat

I can sit through this. I can do it,

even when I don’t remember that I want to.

I will get through this no matter how it tweaks me

and I squirm in my seat.

In spite of the unfairness of it all,

I can do what is right, because that is what is best for me.

Acting out or giving up are options that I have.

I like me too much to choose so poorly.

When this is all settled I will still have me

no matter what else I gain or lose.

If I don’t like me anymore I have lost everything,

if I can hold my head up, proud of my behavior

this is the most valuable gain.

Love is only love

if I am still here to feel it,

so I will sit still.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

The Order

March 25

THE ORDER

I can’t expect delivery if I haven’t placed the order.  I never seem to know what I want until after I have accepted something else.  I can remember thinking order meant procedure not procurement---set the table, not end my hunger.  I focused on rational intent and turned my face from desire.  Assailing outcomes leads to disappointments.  Asking for a hole to be filled may cause dumping not management or conservation.  It’s good to have a plan before signing the requisition.  Please help me know who I am, so I will know what I want, so I can make a request and stop accepting orders of attack.  Don’t let me order the end while I am still at the beginning.

Self-respect is the gift you bring to everyone.

*

Whirly Gigs

Pivot points and reference points

subtlety disguised as harmless bric-a-brac

escape my comprehension until I either stumble

or land on one or the other and ponder the affect.

Realization that much of my life’s contentment

hinges like a door shocks me,

though I don’t know why it should.

Isn’t it the way of things that it all turns on a whim

or at the very least hangs on fine gauged calculation?

I am not the capricious vixen I accuse myself of;

I am however human

and given to a certain amount of fickle fussy frenzy

which all reckons out given enough perspective and wit.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Living as a Megaphone

June 26

Living as a Megaphone

He whispers in my ear, I part my lips and let it all run out. Vacant tube of a thing, his words pour through me, nothing to stem the flow, no diversions, no catch basin.  He hides behind me, the bully that he is.  I stand with rings painted bright concentric, bold.  I am nothing; I know it and don’t need him to tell me, my inactions speak louder than his words.  He is not the one who bore right through my core; he is just the little worm who is living there secure.  I will have to purge him out to be his megaphone no more.

Protect your awareness

*

OPTICAL ILLUSION

From the right angle a hat pin can appear

Taller then the Empire State Building

I can skew my perspective to such an extreme

Or let my disease do it to me.

I can believe myself to be other than I am

The sweetest, kindest, smartest quickest,

Smallest, slowest, lowest, meanest.

I can see myself as all this and more.

As long as I squint with one eye

And look at only half of an issue

I can play the parts and act as if

These things are true.

I can even get others to play along

I can make fantasy fact if I lower the floor

I can die in the basement, many do.

I can turn my face from science

And be the center of all that spins

Or climb the stairs to ground level.

I can turn my mind to facts and fractions

Leave my better-than, less-than universe

And see the height of everything

And stand tall with my eyes open.

With and Without

May 5

With and Without

With my sponsor- Without my drinking buddies

With my Big Book- Without my contrived dogma

With my home group- Without my dysfunctional family

With my step work- Without my mental masturbation

With my sobriety- Without my insanity

With all this I can live Without all that

Appreciate the strength of your neck

*

THE LONG VIEW

The long view requires an enduring embrace of the past

It requires a great love of people

The race and individuals

I cannot see what we do and flee

I can own what happened, what happens and what is to come

If only so I can ratchet improvement into my own behavior

I can see and feel change, cringe if I must, but go on

The horizon is there to set the stage

It hangs long and low

It stands guard for the life there is to live

I will view it

And use it as my gauge

Keeping perspective is the key

I know it for what it is

And that makes me,----me

The short sight and the long view

My open arms hold it all

My sight brings it all into my heart.

Slipstream

October 27

SLIPSTREAM

I look in the rearview mirror; I see the headliner and a river of road flowing out behind me.  Dual viewing is the kind gift of hindsight.  I can see my internal workings and the past laid bare.  The beauty and sadness can transfix me.  I will lose my way if I keep looking back.  I catch glimpses and move my eyes forward.  I can’t advance without a full vision so I remain grateful for the mirror.  Awareness and cognition, the brakes and gas, I have the full package; I just have to make sure to steer.

Tell a joke to a cat.

*

Picard

The little tin whistle I yearn to play

squeaks in my head

warning that I have no time to learn

and a tin whistle though slender is not easy.

I think if I had a magic wrinkler for time I might learn,

I remember characters that have, but I rethink this

and remember I don’t want to win the lottery again.

I am too good at too many things

and have no time to enjoy their full round pleasure.

I have no need for additional longing or extended guilt.

Optical Illusion

July 6

OPTICAL ILLUSION

From the right angle a hatpin can appear taller than the Empire State Building.  I can skew my perspective to such an extreme or let my disease do it for me.  I can believe myself to be other than I am: the sweetest, kindest------smartest, quickest------smallest, slowest-------lowest, meanest.  I can see myself as all this and more as long as I squint with one eye and look at only half of any issue.  I can play the parts and act as if these things are true.  I can even get others to play along.  I can make fantasy fact if I lower the floor.  I can die in the basement, many do.  I can turn my face from science and be the center of all that spins..…OR….. I can climb the stairs to ground level.  I can turn my mind to facts and fractions.  Leave my better-than, less-than universe and see the height of everything and stand tall with both my eyes open.

Put a surprise in your pocket.

*

Keeping My Seat

I can sit through this. I can do it,

even when I don’t remember that I want to.

I will get through this no matter how it tweaks me

and I squirm in my seat.

In spite of the unfairness of it all,

I can do what is right, because that is what is best for me.

Acting out or giving up are options that I have.

I like me too much to choose so poorly.

When this is all settled I will still have me

no matter what else I gain or lose.

If I don’t like me anymore I have lost everything,

if I can hold my head up, proud of my behavior

this is the most valuable gain.

Love is only love

if I am still here to feel it,

so I will sit still.

The Long View

May 14

THE LONG VIEW

The long view requires an enduring embrace of the past.  It requires a great love of people, the race and individuals.  I cannot see what we do and flee.  I can own what happened, what happens and what is to come if only so I can ratchet improvement into my own behavior.  I can see and feel and change, cringe if I must, but go on.  The horizon is there to set the stage.  It hangs there long and low.  It stands guard for the life there is to live.  I will view it and use it as my gauge.  Keeping perspective is the key.  I know it for what it is and that makes me, me.  The short sight and the long view.  My open arms hold it all; my sight brings it all into my heart.

Floss between the permanent ideas in your mind.

*

Life Events in Burlap

Two left feet in a gunnysack allows no forward motion

and creates only a windmill that screws us into the ground.

There is more perspective, front and back, more view,

but nothing to do with it, nowhere to go.

We are better off as book ends than this awkward foolish pairing.

You go your way and I go mine works fine if we are cut lose,

if any one person can be free of any other.

You offer to change your perspective if I change mine.

I smile, almost laugh at the idea of two right feet in a gunnysack

and no improvement in sight.

This is not grade school, not field day,

I must turn to you or you to me and nothing else,

no fair is fair, no turn taking.

Because my past is not your future

and your future is not my past.

Face forward on both accounts and then we run the race.