The Long Dark Ride

February 16

The Long Dark Ride

Are fear and ignorance one thing that looks like itself or terrifying twins who feed one another?  Can they be separated and if they can will it kill them?  And if they die what will spring from their remains?  Will it be better or worse?  Can I tell what better is?  Should I tell if it turns out to be worse?  Is there ever an end to either fear or ignorance?  If there is, how deep is that well and will I survive a trip to the bottom?  Do you know and do you care?  Will you go with me if I find the way?  Will you take me if you find it first?

Learn from ugliness

*

THE 24 HOUR GOD

Matching a loving God to the horrors of my past
 has proved impossible for me.
Projecting a connection to an all powerful God
 of the ever foreshortening future seems implausible.

In today, I see a nurturing God
 not an all purpose God
Not a God who serves all.
In my life there is a God I trust today.

Each morning, when I wake
 there is a pleasant surprise to find a God.
Not an expansive God, not a God to fit the continuum
But a nice neat God who fits right in this 24 hours.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

The 24 Hour God

May 10

THE 24 HOUR GOD

Matching a loving God to the horrors of my past has proved impossible for me.  Projecting a connection to an all-powerful God of the ever-foreshortening future seems implausible.  In today, I see a nurturing God.  Not an all purpose God, not a God who serves all.  In my life, there is a God I trust today.  Each morning, when I wake, it is a pleasant surprise to find a God.  Not an expansive God, not a God to fit the continuum, but a nice neat God who fits right in this 24.

Lift your fingers to your scars and feel the gratitude.

*

Box-a-week Tao

I am going through so many changes

surrounding the cleaning out and getting rid of process.

The flat sided panic that I experience

while even attempting the smallest disposal seems impossible.

I would deny it if I didn't have the repetition

of this experiment to prove it as fact.

I have now moved into the part of the illness

where I compulsively clean the things that I have emptied

in order to avoid facing the next step, the next box, the next mess.

This is a two part trap:

Part 1. If cleaning can absorb all the time

I will not be able to do anything else.

Part 2.  If I can't keep it clean enough

then I have an excuse to give up

and not empty the next space.

I am trying to keep moving without being mean to myself.

Because mean is worse than mess.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

The Long Dark Ride

February 16

The Long Dark Ride

Are fear and ignorance one thing that looks like itself or terrifying twins who feed one another?  Can they be separated and if they can will it kill them?  And if they die what will spring from their remains?  Will it be better or worse?  Can I tell what better is?  Should I tell if it turns out to be worse?  Is there ever an end to either fear or ignorance?  If there is, how deep is that well and will I survive a trip to the bottom?  Do you know and do you care?  Will you go with me if I find the way?  Will you take me if you find it first?

Learn from ugliness

*

THE 24 HOUR GOD

Matching a loving God to the horrors of my past
 has proved impossible for me.
Projecting a connection to an all powerful God
 of the ever foreshortening future seems implausible.

In today, I see a nurturing God
 not an all purpose God
Not a God who serves all.
In my life there is a God I trust today.

Each morning, when I wake
 there is a pleasant surprise to find a God.
Not an expansive God, not a God to fit the continuum
But a nice neat God who fits right in this 24 hours.

The 24 Hour God

May 10

THE 24 HOUR GOD

Matching a loving God to the horrors of my past has proved impossible for me.  Projecting a connection to an all-powerful God of the ever-foreshortening future seems implausible.  In today, I see a nurturing God.  Not an all purpose God, not a God who serves all.  In my life, there is a God I trust today.  Each morning, when I wake, it is a pleasant surprise to find a God.  Not an expansive God, not a God to fit the continuum, but a nice neat God who fits right in this 24.

Lift your fingers to your scars and feel the gratitude.

*

Box-a-week Tao

I am going through so many changes

surrounding the cleaning out and getting rid of process.

The flat sided panic that I experience

while even attempting the smallest disposal seems impossible.

I would deny it if I didn't have the repetition

of this experiment to prove it as fact.

I have now moved into the part of the illness

where I compulsively clean the things that I have emptied

in order to avoid facing the next step, the next box, the next mess.

This is a two part trap:

Part 1. If cleaning can absorb all the time

I will not be able to do anything else.

Part 2.  If I can't keep it clean enough

then I have an excuse to give up

and not empty the next space.

I am trying to keep moving without being mean to myself.

Because mean is worse than mess.