Suddenly

March 23

Suddenly

Creeping realization has never been my experience with G-d’s handy work in my kitchen.  I start out making a mess and I find in short order that G-d has made a meal; fit food for apt hunger.  I could throw myself into the kneading and shaping, but without the yeast which is so freely given I have no bread; only a lump that will choke me in the end.  Even my very own abilities are gifts I was incapable of offering to myself and are only found here in my possession through sheer grace.  I have woken up with my face saliva glued to the table top far too often only to discover my Higher Power doing and I am grateful; for without that action I would be un-done.

Learn to live with the shadow of the moon

*

HOW RED IS RED

I check my color and contrast
I paint the setting sun
Add a bit of yellow
And fill to the edge burgeoning poppies

Add more blue and paint the blood
Which pools around my mind
The equalizer of all my mental conversations

Too much is never enough, as the story goes
I pursue my shades and signatures
Too much for the fingers and not enough for the toes
I disregard fraudulent crimson

I scale the mountains of intention looking for perfection
The leach of my addiction drains the other colors from my rainbow
My sponsor asks only one question
"How red is red?"

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Math

March 22

MATH

“If this is the solution, why aren’t I happy?"  I ask my sponsor in a piteous whine.

“You’ve run the equation and the solution equals happiness?"  She queries, “That’s the whole and total answer?  How many times did you go through the computation?”

“What’s your point?  Are you saying happiness isn’t the answer?  What about joy, and freedom?  I heard someone say that was the goal.  I know that’s what I heard.”

“Let’s think about it for a hot second.  What would you think if I worked the steps as hard as I do and, as a result, walked around in a perpetual grin?”

“I’d think you had lost your mind.”

“So, you’re telling me you believe the product of recovery is idiocy?  The thing we all are aspiring to is bliss and nothing but?”

“No, I guess not.  Then what is the solution for you?"  I ask.

“A tally which fits the day I’m having.  Joy sometimes fits that bill but other days it’s sadness or concern.  There have been days when disbelief and dismay were part of the appropriate response.  For me, the solution is having an equation that helps me respond to life instead of reacting to it.  That’s better than unending happiness; that’s wholeness,” she said with a grin.

Harmony is at contrast with permission.

*

Suddenly

Creeping realization has never been my experience

with God’s handy work in my kitchen.

I start out making a mess

and I find in short order that G-d has made a meal;

fit food for apt hunger.

I could throw myself into the kneading and shaping,

but without the yeast

which is so freely given I have no bread;

only a lump that will choke me in the end.

Even my very own abilities are gifts

I was incapable of offering to myself

and are only found here in my possession

through sheer grace.

I have woken up with my face

saliva glued to the table top far too often

only to discover my Higher Power doing

and I am grateful for without that action

I would be un-done.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Keds

July 26

Keds

If I gave a child a pair of sneakers would I refuse to help them to tie them on?  Would I want this kid to wear them open, tongues hanging out, laces dangling and dangerous? Or worse would I want the child to have to lug the sneakers around; the kid feeling the need to treasure the gift and protect it from use or wear?  I hope that I would not be this sick, misguided or deranged.  I have to say that I have given up believing in a crazy G-d but this doesn’t mean that I can’t drive G-d crazy with my insane behavior.  I have to stick my feet inside my shoes and lift my foot for help and open my mouth to ask, then pay close attention so I can learn to do it on my own; all the while not beating myself up that I can’t do it already.

Treat adventure as a requirement for life

*

STUBBORN

When the donkey won’t move forward

It’s time to stop running

No need to make an ass of myself

Through force or coercion.

The dumb animal may be mute but its actions speak.

Reluctance is a warning.

If my animal nature is balking

Listening not shoving in the preferred course.

Super intelligence can’t best good horse sense.

I must stand with my intuition

That creature depends on my survival for life.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault