Gulping

June 9

GULPING

The plug that lodges in my throat from too much, too fast, causes the anxiety to rise in me.  The panic fulls my contracting muscles into rock solid revolt.  'I can’t live' is the predictable result.  Gulping attention, acclaim, excitement, sex does the same thing.  My heart clots and my personality stops in mid flow.  Everything, in carefully chosen well-chewed bites, makes the process proceed.  My life works along workable paths if I stay away from oversized freight.  I can never swallow myself whole; why would I keep trying to imbibe giants like desire?

Tumble your heart like a stone then warm it.

*

Prize Catch

There is a reason that fish flap and twist

when they are caught,

why even though they are in the air

they fight for the life that once was theirs

Only martyrs go without a fight,

it is good to know that at least this vice is not mine.

When I did not love my life its loss was not an actual change,

there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to struggle for.

Now I thrash at the feel of my loved life slipping from me.

It is good to know I have passion enough to rally a defense.

My life can be taken from me, but I haven’t lost my will to fight.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Black & Dedication

May 31

Black & Dedication

The brand of equipment endorsed by my Higher Power is built so that my hand is clasped inside lest I feel alone or unaided.  A closed mouth and an open mind work very well when I can manage either of them and Step 10 works when I can’t.  I am usually the problem in my life but I am always the solution.  Others may change and contribute; I am the one and only one, responsible for my happiness.  Dropping blame from my vocabulary and adding responsibility, learning to differentiate between what is mine and what is yours; these tools are keys and they open worlds of possibility to me.  Also they shut out the demons of wrong thinking, wrong acting and desperation, which used to plague me. There are still greater tools I yearn for but like everything I must be patient and build my muscles to handle the heavier machinery.

Dine with hope

*

GULPING

The plug that lodges in my throat

From too much, too fast

Causes the anxiety to rise in me.

The panic fills my contracting muscles

Into rock solid revolt.

I can’t live, is the predictable result

Gulping attention, acclaim, excitement, sex,

Does the same thing

My heart clots and my personality stops in mid-flow

Everything in carefully chosen, well chewed bites

Makes the process proceed

My life works along workable paths

If I stay away from oversized freight

I can never swallow myself whole

Why would I keep trying to imbibe giants like desire?

Gulping

June 9

GULPING

The plug that lodges in my throat from too much, too fast, causes the anxiety to rise in me.  The panic fulls my contracting muscles into rock solid revolt.  'I can’t live' is the predictable result.  Gulping attention, acclaim, excitement, sex does the same thing.  My heart clots and my personality stops in mid flow.  Everything, in carefully chosen well-chewed bites, makes the process proceed.  My life works along workable paths if I stay away from oversized freight.  I can never swallow myself whole; why would I keep trying to imbibe giants like desire?

Tumble your heart like a stone then warm it.

*

Prize Catch

There is a reason that fish flap and twist

when they are caught,

why even though they are in the air

they fight for the life that once was theirs

Only martyrs go without a fight,

it is good to know that at least this vice is not mine.

When I did not love my life its loss was not an actual change,

there was nothing to hold onto, nothing to struggle for.

Now I thrash at the feel of my loved life slipping from me.

It is good to know I have passion enough to rally a defense.

My life can be taken from me, but I haven’t lost my will to fight.

Gulping

June 9

GULPING



The plug that lodges in my throat from too much, too fast, causes the anxiety to rise in me. The panic fulls my contracting muscles into rock solid revolt. 'I can’t live' is the predictable result. Gulping attention, acclaim, excitement, sex does the same thing. My heart clots and my personality stops in mid flow. Everything, in carefully chosen well-chewed bites, makes the process proceed. My life works along workable paths if I stay away from oversized freight. I can never swallow myself whole; why would I keep trying to imbibe giants like desire?


Tumble your heart like a stone then warm it.