Showing posts with label bad relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad relationships. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Hand Me Down Pain

January 6


Hand Me Down Pain


You have sent a cold thing into my heart it causes my feet to move me away from you.  It need not be spoken of this is a thing of ice and lead.  Words are no help here, action is the only cure.  Eternity can be spent with a soul bisected by slivers.  Stepping the willing way to joy and freedom seems so unlikely from this frosty local.  Make my mind up I must.  Close my eyes and move forward.  I will leave your pain behind me I hope not to have to leave you.

Kiss tiny pebbles and roll them away



~

HELP FROM STRANGE SOURCES

I cannot get my mind wrapped around the places I find help.
I struggle with believing I have been helped.
I struggle with disbelief at my own resistance.
I am helped daily by many tiny things seen and unseen.
I realize now I was injured by the same tiny things.
When I was misaligned with my Higher Power
The sun rising, the tiny star I circle in this great nothingness
It makes my whole day.
The air hanging around just in case I need it,
Which I often do.
The people who live with me, a mean feat.
The people who work with me.
Those who exist here with me keep my ship on course,
How sweet of them to do mostly right everyday of their lives,
What a help that is.
The whole ecosystem and all the weather
What would I do without it?
But this is on a good day,
On a bad day, the sun is in my eyes and scorching my skin,
The air is too still, or well, the wind is always a problem.
And people, people are an endless plight,
People do things to hurt, annoy and irritate me,
Full intent, targeted to me, my life, my wants destroyed.
Bugs seek me and I am followed by the darkest cloud,
Everyday, all day, lurking.

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR A SPONSOR AND A TENTH STEP



You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Retro Anticipation and Sunshine

December 24

RETRO ANTICIPATION AND SUNSHINE


The night after a victory I fret about the blocks.  Will my stance be right?  Will I leave cleanly?  I have been first through the tape.  I have won the race but yet I worry how I will start.  Had I anticipated a win I might have handled the accolades better.  Apprehension has a long half-life and feeds through the night on my gizzard and my dreams.  Failure gives homework, there are rewrites and typos, but checkmate leaves an empty board and hands to shake.  The long ride home is filled with recriminating thoughts of luck and fortune.  By the time I arrive home the win is devalued and no longer mine.  I must pry misgivings from the winner’s circle and enjoy.  These moments in the sun are just as real as any others.


Draw pictures of monsters, then let them lay.
*


Hey Little Sister

Who pulls the trigger, you or I,
in this Shotgun relationship?
Is it more to the point
if you slit my throat or if I slit my own?

I only ask for the sake of expedience,
rudeness was never my intent.
I know we both wish this dilemma resolved
with due speed and precision where possible.

I am not as concerned with my survival
as much as neatness all around.
I hate to leave you with a mess.

I would tuck my tail and go,
but I have tried that before
and still we end up here.

So lets end this shall we
and hope that there are better worlds than this
to find after we have shattered the sugar egg
we used to live in.


You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault