Retro Anticipation and Sunshine

December 24

RETRO ANTICIPATION AND SUNSHINE

The night after a victory I fret about the blocks.  Will my stance be right?  Will I leave cleanly?  I have been first through the tape.  I have won the race but yet I worry how I will start.  Had I anticipated a win I might have handled the accolades better.  Apprehension has a long half-life and feeds through the night on my gizzard and my dreams.  Failure gives homework, there are rewrites and typos, but checkmate leaves an empty board and hands to shake.  The long ride home is filled with recriminating thoughts of luck and fortune.  By the time I arrive home the win is devalued and no longer mine.  I must pry misgivings from the winner’s circle and enjoy.  These moments in the sun are just as real as any others.

Draw pictures of monsters, then let them lay.

*

Hey Little Sister

Who pulls the trigger, you or I,

in this Shotgun relationship?

Is it more to the point

if you slit my throat or if I slit my own?

I only ask for the sake of expedience,

rudeness was never my intent.

I know we both wish this dilemma resolved

with due speed and precision where possible.

I am not as concerned with my survival

as much as neatness all around.

I hate to leave you with a mess.

I would tuck my tail and go,

but I have tried that before

and still we end up here.

So lets end this shall we

and hope that there are better worlds than this

to find after we have shattered the sugar egg

we used to live in.

Vlog:  http://youtu.be/utiowwLtChI

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Victory

November 2

VICTORY

Victory is a funny thing.  Bursting across the finish line ends the joyful competition and begins the wait until the next endeavor.  Pushing for success drops my life off the radar screen.  Power can propel me out of range, the center of my life overshot in and attempt to be a winner.  I am stripped of my commonality in striving for singularity.  Looking for acclaim leaves me lonely.  The winner’s circle is very small, and while the flash explodes, the development shows I am now alone.

Curiosity and beauty are their own reasons.

*

Bride in a Bentley

Who determines your worth,

the one who sets your ransom

or the one who pays it?

Will you recognize yourself

once you have been bought and paid for?

Will your life exist upon your return?

How many times has the road and its inhabitance

taken me far from what I’ve known

and extorted an exorbitant remuneration for restoration?

Redeemed is what they call it when the price is met,

yet this might not be the feeling it evokes.

Deliverance is never 100%

and reclamation is not always possible.

So keep your mind free,

but know your own worth.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Flight 548

December 11

Flight 548

What a happy flight, wing to wing, smiles, good cheer, the air is kind, sweet, dry, easy to breathe.  I am so blessed.  I fly to destiny watching the traveling baby circus play around me.  Giggles and drool surround me, infuse me with glee.  People wander the aisle looking like well loved characters from long forgotten books and we soar.  Time does not pass any more quickly this way, but it is similar to time in heaven rather than time spent in hell.

Mix jelly with joy

*

RETRO ANTICIPATION AND SUNSHINE

The night after a victory I fret about the blocks.
Will my stance be right?
Will I leave clearly?

I have been first through the tape
I have won the race
But yet I worry how I will start.

Had I anticipated a win
I might have handled the accolades better.

Apprehension has a long half-life
And feeds through the night
On my gizzards and my dreams.

Failure gives homework,
There are rewrites and type-O’s
But checkmate leaves an empty board
And hands to shake.

The long ride home is filled with
Recriminating thoughts of luck and fortune.
By the time I arrive home
The win is devalued and no longer mine.

I must pry misgivings from the winners circle
And enjoy these moments in the sun
They are just as real as any others.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Retro Anticipation of Sunshine

December 24

RETRO ANTICIPATION AND SUNSHINE

The night after a victory I fret about the blocks.  Will my stance be right?  Will I leave cleanly?  I have been first through the tape.  I have won the race but yet I worry how I will start.  Had I anticipated a win I might have handled the accolades better.  Apprehension has a long half-life and feeds through the night on my gizzard and my dreams.  Failure gives homework, there are rewrites and typos, but checkmate leaves an empty board and hands to shake.  The long ride home is filled with recriminating thoughts of luck and fortune.  By the time I arrive home the win is devalued and no longer mine.  I must pry misgivings from the winner’s circle and enjoy.  These moments in the sun are just as real as any others.

Draw pictures of monsters, then let them lay.

*

Hey Little Sister

Who pulls the trigger, you or I,

in this Shotgun relationship?

Is it more to the point

if you slit my throat or if I slit my own?

I only ask for the sake of expedience,

rudeness was never my intent.

I know we both wish this dilemma resolved

with due speed and precision where possible.

I am not as concerned with my survival

as much as neatness all around.

I hate to leave you with a mess.

I would tuck my tail and go,

but I have tried that before

and still we end up here.

So lets end this shall we

and hope that there are better worlds than this

to find after we have shattered the sugar egg

we used to live in.

Victory

November 2

VICTORY

Victory is a funny thing.  Bursting across the finish line ends the joyful competition and begins the wait until the next endeavor.  Pushing for success drops my life off the radar screen.  Power can propel me out of range, the center of my life overshot in and attempt to be a winner.  I am stripped of my commonality in striving for singularity.  Looking for acclaim leaves me lonely.  The winner’s circle is very small, and while the flash explodes, the development shows I am now alone.

Curiosity and beauty are their own reasons.

*

Bride in a Bentley

Who determines your worth,

the one who sets your ransom

or the one who pays it?

Will you recognize yourself

once you have been bought and paid for?

Will your life exist upon your return?

How many times has the road and its inhabitance

taken me far from what I’ve known

and extorted an exorbitant remuneration for restoration?

Redeemed is what they call it when the price is met,

yet this might not be the feeling it evokes.

Deliverance is never 100%

and reclamation is not always possible.

So keep your mind free,

but know your own worth.

Flight 548

December 11

Flight 548

What a happy flight, wing to wing, smiles, good cheer, the air is kind, sweet, dry, easy to breathe. I am so blessed. I fly to destiny watching the traveling baby circus play around me. Giggles and drool surround me, infuse me with glee. People wander the aisle looking like well loved characters from long forgotten books and we soar. Time does not pass any more quickly this way, but it is similar to time in heaven rather than time spent in hell.

Mix jelly with joy

*

RETRO ANTICIPATION AND SUNSHINE

The night after a victory I fret about the blocks.
Will my stance be right?
Will I leave clearly?

I have been first through the tape
I have won the race
But yet I worry how I will start.

Had I anticipated a win
I might have handled the accolades better.

Apprehension has a long half-life
And feeds through the night
On my gizzards and my dreams.

Failure gives homework,
There are rewrites and type-O’s
But checkmate leaves an empty board
And hands to shake.

The long ride home is filled with
Recriminating thoughts of luck and fortune.
By the time I arrive home
The win is devalued and no longer mine.

I must pry misgivings from the winners circle
And enjoy these moments in the sun
They are just as real as any others.

I didn't mean to make you laugh

August 6

I didn’t mean to make you laugh

You think I’m witty, well, yes, I have always been like this, no one knew quite what to do with me as a small child, but I have grown into this acumen, or possibly grown out into it is closer to accurate. I was dark witted when I was young, I think of myself as less so now, optimism is a blessing I have gained through the years, it feels good and I keep it close. I need to be a blithe spirit to travel the road I do. Tears have their place, I know that for sure, but I rather not go around with a puss on all day and all night. Additionally it is so much about perspective; you see, the honey makes the peas taste funny but at least now they stick to my knife.

Assign colors to numbers

*

I AM

I am my own hope.

The spring of willingness flows within me

And makes everything possible.

I am my own dream.

Colors and sprinkles fly in my mind

And mix with a sprite’s laugh

And make me enchanted.

I am my own joy.

Filled with wonder and delight,

My quick turns and ready mind warm

My heart and pink my checks.

I am my own prize.

New and exciting everyday

That I am myself, I win.