Face and Ass

March 31

Face and Ass

“It is hard to save your face and save your ass at the same time.”

What I haven’t tried in an attempt to live my life as a showman spotlight front and center.  What I wouldn’t sacrifice to keep peace and image intact, but in the end it was just that, my end, that saved me from a life chasing prevention of defacement.  I can’t live with the posture of an ostrich it leaves so much at risk.  Hiding my face won’t protect it no matter how much I wish it would.  I have to put my butt in a seat, a seat up front where folks get to know my face.  I have to try my best yet still make mistakes and let people know my ass as well.  Being a part of AA saves my behind, once that is cosseted, my face might just get its day in the sun.

Don’t invite ridicule, but deal with it if it comes knocking at your door

*

PADUANS

The pussy willows bloom
Looking much like crested poultry
The coldest part of my heart
Is fighting to thaw in this early spring

Weather is not of the mind to be rushed
My hopes nor the changing calendar
Can persuade the warmth into the May morning
It's May for me too

No longer the early sobriety of  January
The years have marched on
I wait for the delivery of my returning brains
Long-term sobriety has begun

I am still beset with the chill of fragility
I desire dignity but find myself strutting
Like a fowl with blooming plumage
Addled and gawky

Don't worry says my sponsor
The pussy willow is in no way less
For showing itself
In the rawness of growth

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Willing Piecrust

April 13

WILLING PIECRUST

I lay the crust of my will over the pie plate of God’s will for me.  I must have the willingness to trim off the excesses.  I hesitate; I worked hard to roll it out.  I know from past experience, when hot issues come up, these tags and hangings-on burn and drop sometimes ruining the flavor and appearance of the whole.  It is easier to cut loose the things outside God-given intent.  I get the pie in its entirety when I crimp and bend to the shape of my life.

Hope is free, so spread it around.

*

Chickens and Eggs

Who is more sober

the early riser or the long-timer?

How do we get here and what does it mean.

It all starts with a day, which is good

because this is more than we had hoped for,

sometimes more than we could do.

Then it moved into an ever escalating game

of can you beat this, each day an improvement

over what had been accomplished the day before.

For years the standard bearer is the pain or relief

of the very first in this string,

orbs of 24, yet here stands the question,

“Is the essence the last pearl you touch

or the total of the strand, which makes it real?”

I don’t know for sure.

Sobriety is like light;

is light made up of waves or is it made up of particles

and the answer is invariably yes, for it is.

And what you need and how you look at it

seems to make the determination,

scientific method or no

The watched is affected by the watcher and vice versa.

The end is a day round and imperfect as any

and what is strung between the beginning and the end

is what you’ve made of it.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

No Reason

September 5

No Reason

Reason falls through, where it lands is a place of unknown seascape and unrelenting tides.  The roar in my ears furthers the disorienting effect of relocation.  At first it seems easier to let go of reason but when I descend into madness I scramble for purchase; looking for sanity like a cleft in a cliff.  Loss of skin and blood is nothing to compare to the loss of my mind.  I believe I could be more easily separated from a limb or two than to lose rein on my brain.  Reason falls through; I must follow even though the terrain is arduous and my heart is sometimes faint, for without reason there is no reason and without reason there is no life.

Write songs to the dead, sing them to the living

*

HATCHLING

When the shell gets too tight

It’s time to hatch.

I can’t tell you it’s safe out there

Just that it’s time to go.

The leaving is not easy.

Exodus fulfilled by the use of one small tooth

This experience may or may not prepare you

For the rest of your life.

So much still depends on predestination

And your attitude.

I mean are you a chicken or a hawk?

A peacock or a dove?

Or is there something of which I am unaware.

Did someone sit on your nest

Or cover it with sand?

Are you a turtle, lizard or snake?

See so much is out of your hands

But still your actions are your choice.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Chickens and Eggs

April 15

Chickens and Eggs

Who is more sober the early riser or the long-timer?  How do we get here and what does it mean.  It all starts with a day, which is good because this is more than we had hoped for, sometimes more than we could do.  Then it moved into an ever escalating game of can you beat this, each day an improvement over what had been accomplished the day before.  For years the standard bearer is the pain or relief of the very first in this string, orbs of 24, yet here stands the question, “Is the essence the last pearl you touch or the total of the strand, which makes it real?”   I don’t know for sure.   Sobriety is like light; is light made up of waves or is it made up of particles and the answer is invariably yes, for it is.  And what you need and how you look at it seems to make the determination, scientific method or no, the watched is affected by the watcher and vice versa.  The end is a day round and imperfect as any and what is strung between the beginning and the end is what you’ve made of it.

Never underestimate bitterness

*

ESCAPING THROUGH THE CEILING

Up and away is my motto

Upwardly mobile is my goal

If I can flee without leaving a track

I'm clean

No heart wrenching walk down the isle or lane

No dust on my shoes, no possibility of stumbling

Grace at all cost

Empowerment through elevation

If I must leave my human plane to attain this, so be it

Give up my natural rights, such is life

But yet, if I lose my bonds to earth

What did the leaving gain me?

I arise, to appear better

As a result, I appear not at all