Cloning Days

June 18

CLONING DAYS

The novelty of sobriety causing sweet days wore to gauze and I attempted control.  I cut, pasted and sutured elements of good living in an effort to make 24 hours of personal perfection.  I was so sure I could replicate these jewel like days.  I would make perfect spheres, everything round and even, one after another like a string of pearls.  The more I tried the harder God laughed.  Days are their own planets; Saturn is different from Mars and today will have just as little to do with tomorrow if I let it all work out.  Perfection is a thing, which is born to live, not a thing I can craft in a dish or a test tube.  Life must will-out or chaos will prevail.

Take two words and make a seesaw in your mind.

*

Who is Who

Remake the bed for the restless child in you

who sleeps better if attention is paid to the small kindnesses.

Placating her saves you the sound of her plaintive cry.

If you teach yourself

or allow yourself to grow fond of her, this child you,

these simple chores will seem light, refreshing, natural.

If you fight her she will grow strong

and you will grow weak.

Don’t resist nature.

Don’t resist your nature.

Take a hug to share

as you would take an apple divided

on a walk in the woods with a companion.

Share emotional embraces,

let your thoughts surround her

when you make plans and do deals.

If you treat her as if she is the best of you,

you will become the best of her.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Trojan Person

May 25

TROJAN PERSON

I feel confused by the difference between love and war.  The intensity and rush are too much for my frazzled and betrayed emotions to sort out.  I feel like a Trojan person.  I have all these children holed up inside and they are waiting for peace and safety so they can come out and sleep.  For a time I allowed them to leave for bathroom breaks, one at a time. This was not a workable solution.  When these tykes would have a look around, they started to set fires and break hearts.  Each child makes life a battleground, fights and claws her way across the living landscape.  I must heal my insides from the center of my thoughts, not send fragments of me to blend with the unfamiliar and hostile world.  Only when I can stand together with my mind and heart safe within my being will I see a way to make love on my own and leave war alone.

Shuffle your vocabulary.

*

ROUSs

Time passes, I clock it and count it

and use its passage to construct a defense

or accusation depending on my need.

I use the calendar to condemn you

because my feelings do not have sufficient leverage

for my mental calculations.

To prize disappointment from this scene

I watch the water-clock waiting for adequate drops

to lift the flood gate and free me

from your unfulfilled promise and my unrealized hope.

How long is too long to stand in a quagmire?

Why do I feel the need for permission

to leave the quicksand?

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Who is Who

June 20

Who is Who

Remake the bed for the restless child in you who sleeps better if attention is paid to the small kindnesses.  Placating her saves you the sound of her plaintive cry.  If you teach yourself or allow yourself to grow fond of her, this child, you, these simple chores will seem light, refreshing, natural.  If you fight her she will grow strong and you will grow weak.  Don’t resist nature.  Don’t resist your nature.  Take a hug to share as you would take an apple divided on a walk in the woods with a companion.  Share emotional embraces, let your thoughts surround her when you make plans and do deals.  If you treat her as if she is the best of you, you will become the best of her.

Collaborate with your missed cues

*

SMOG

When I burnout the smoke affects everyone in the surrounding area

I forget to keep my wick trimmed and lamp full

I empty out and my light grows dim

I am responsible for maintenance and upkeep.

If I don’t protect my own radiance I will lose it

And the darkness will be felt throughout the neighborhood

I can’t risk the death of illumination or incur smoldering haze.

Fortification of my sobriety is a simple task

If I make proper use of resources.

When I turn energy to obligation I am distracted

And separated from my source

Then the source I am to others is extinguished.

I can only light the darkness where I am

I can’t illuminate someone else’s path

Nor should I pollute the way with smoke and vapor

Due to a lapse in my spiritual condition.

Raid!!!

May 30

RAID !!!

So, you stepped into a hornets nest and now how am I to respond?  Blame you?  No, I don’t think so, I mean you are the exterminator and some stings are to be expected, but this is far beyond even your honed ability to anticipate wasps.  Cry, running from this ambush?  Again, I decline I still want you after the war is over, even if I can not fight by your side.  Protest, I try to refrain, I never want to make your job harder but I don’t want to leave the impression I have no concern, so I walk the fine line.  Standing on the sidelines is harder than you think, I am helpless and lonely, not as exciting as your work and no comfort from this distance.  I must hold my breath while you provoke the bees.

Stack your honest intentions as a hedge against a cold winter

*

TROJAN PERSON

I feel confused by the difference between love and war

The intensity and rush are too much

For my frazzled and betrayed emotions to sort out.

I feel like a Trojan person

I have all these children holdup inside

And they are waiting for peace and safety

So they can come out and sleep

For a time I allowed them to leave

For bathroom breaks one at a time

This was not a workable solution.

When these tykes would have a look around

They started to set fires and break hearts

Each child makes life a battleground

Fights and claws her way across the living landscape.

I must heal my insides from the center of my thoughts

Not send fragments of me to blend

With the unfamiliar and hostile world

Only when I can stand together

With my mind and heart safe within my being

Will I see a way to make love on my own terms

And leave war alone.

correction Yesterday's actual post today

June 18

CLONING DAYS

The novelty of sobriety causing sweet days wore to gauze and I attempted control.  I cut, pasted and sutured elements of good living in an effort to make 24 hours of personal perfection.  I was so sure I could replicate these jewel like days.  I would make perfect spheres, everything round and even, one after another like a string of pearls.  The more I tried the harder God laughed.  Days are their own planets; Saturn is different from Mars and today will have just as little to do with tomorrow if I let it all work out.  Perfection is a thing, which is born to live, not a thing I can craft in a dish or a test tube.  Life must will-out or chaos will prevail.

Take two words and make a seesaw in your mind.

*

Who is Who

Remake the bed for the restless child in you

who sleeps better if attention is paid to the small kindnesses.

Placating her saves you the sound of her plaintive cry.

If you teach yourself

or allow yourself to grow fond of her, this child you,

these simple chores will seem light, refreshing, natural.

If you fight her she will grow strong

and you will grow weak.

Don’t resist nature.

Don’t resist your nature.

Take a hug to share

as you would take an apple divided

on a walk in the woods with a companion.

Share emotional embraces,

let your thoughts surround her

when you make plans and do deals.

If you treat her as if she is the best of you,

you will become the best of her.

Trojan Person

May 25

TROJAN PERSON

I feel confused by the difference between love and war.  The intensity and rush are too much for my frazzled and betrayed emotions to sort out.  I feel like a Trojan person.  I have all these children holed up inside and they are waiting for peace and safety so they can come out and sleep.  For a time I allowed them to leave for bathroom breaks, one at a time. This was not a workable solution.  When these tykes would have a look around, they started to set fires and break hearts.  Each child makes life a battleground, fights and claws her way across the living landscape.  I must heal my insides from the center of my thoughts, not send fragments of me to blend with the unfamiliar and hostile world.  Only when I can stand together with my mind and heart safe within my being will I see a way to make love on my own and leave war alone.

Shuffle your vocabulary.

*

ROUSs

Time passes, I clock it and count it

and use its passage to construct a defense

or accusation depending on my need.

I use the calendar to condemn you

because my feelings do not have sufficient leverage

for my mental calculations.

To prize disappointment from this scene

I watch the water-clock waiting for adequate drops

to lift the flood gate and free me

from your unfulfilled promise and my unrealized hope.

How long is too long to stand in a quagmire?

Why do I feel the need for permission

to leave the quicksand?