May 25
TROJAN PERSON
I feel confused by the difference between love and war. The intensity and rush are too much for my
frazzled and betrayed emotions to sort out.
I feel like a Trojan person. I
have all these children holed up inside and they are waiting for peace and
safety so they can come out and sleep.
For a time I allowed them to leave for bathroom breaks, one at a time.
This was not a workable solution. When
these tykes would have a look around, they started to set fires and break
hearts. Each child makes life a
battleground, fights and claws her way across the living landscape. I must heal my insides from the center of my
thoughts, not send fragments of me to blend with the unfamiliar and hostile world. Only when I can stand together with my mind
and heart safe within my being will I see a way to make love on my own and
leave war alone.
Shuffle your
vocabulary.
*
ROUSs
Time passes, I clock it and count it
and use its passage to construct a defense
or accusation depending on my need.
I use the calendar to condemn you
because my feelings do not have sufficient leverage
for my mental calculations.
To prize disappointment from this scene
I watch the water-clock waiting for adequate drops
to lift the flood gate and free me
from your unfulfilled promise and my unrealized hope.
How long is too long to stand in a quagmire?
Why do I feel the need for permission
to leave the quicksand?
You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane
and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault
