Doll

June 5

DOLL

“Why is your face all red?” asked my sponsor.

“I didn’t get my way,” I responded.

“And this crimson appearance is the result?”

“You see that it is.  I was very careful about what I wanted and worked hard to be reasonable.”

“And Baby, you were.  You did nothing wrong.  Your ego was in check and you kept your expectations in proportion.” said my sponsor.

“Then why didn’t it work out my way?”

“I only have a sad and simple answer for you.  The result had nothing to do with you, your wants, expectations or desires.  The whole experience boils down to only one thing: It was not that type of party, Doll.”

“Oh.”

Promise yourself tears like rain and smiles like sunshine.

*

Discussions with my Disease

“You’re not the girl I used to know.”

“Not the girl you used to love is what you mean?”

“You’re different is all I mean to say.”

“The rest you leave there to rot, unsaid?”

“Something has happened to you.”

“Is it something that you do not like?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Or is it that you never knew?”

“One false move could break us up.”

“All your moves are false

why will one more cause such change?”

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Queen's Counenance

May 13

QUEEN’S COUNTENANCE

I know the 7 P’s of preparation.  I set the table for those I know.  The unexpected arrive clothed in time and tradition.  They seat themselves at the table with the naked.  They become mute.  We prattle and pose, rarely glimpsing the goals sitting at the unset seats.  What we need to become is far from what we are.  I can not even call it other.  It is within when we make room and ether when we won’t.  I can wait and try but the juice is deep with the pulp.  I get myself in line for the future and wait for the clothes offered by my guests.  I sit the emperor and rise the queen.

Hear the sweetness in your own voice; taste the salt in your own tears.

*

Madame Alexander

I am, too naïve;

if you show me kindness I will believe you,

follow you, obey you, so, I have rules.

These rules do not protect me,

but they do make a box for me to seal myself inside.

Where I will ship myself, stack myself, hide myself,

well, that I do not know.

I pull the flaps down

and pray not to have to make any real decisions.

I fold my arms and close my mind

Believing I could never adequately open it enough

to safely live in the world outside of this closet.

Here I sit wondering what to write on this label

in order to be left alone

All the while longing for true love

a thing never given to a quivering china doll

shut up in a carton at the bottom of a wardrobe.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Go Where it's Warm

August 17

Go where it’s warm

The intangible rightness of cohesion is difficult to explain.  What is it that makes a group congregating into a congregation?  What makes a rag tag tousle into a home group?  It is the thing I yearn for, but dare not chase.  I know this too makes a grub into a butterfly, yet private transformation seems necessary, where the change of masses is gratuitous.  A thousand geese fly overhead; arrows of individual miracles, pointing the way to the meaning of it all.

Score your rhythm so you can reflect the music of your soul

*

THE DREAMER

What about the dreamer?

What about her, responds my sponsor.

You ask me about her like I was the one

Who pushed her off the cliff.

Are you saying I pushed her,

I questioned my sponsor.

Yes, that is just what I am saying.

Do you need me to sing it?

You wanted the dreamer to fly off,

To safety and happiness

And wanted her to take you with her.

In an attempt to grab hold of her ankles

And propel her to heaven

You threw her off the precipice.

Now she is broken and bleeding

Far from your sight

Your dreamer is damaged

And you ask about her?

Do you want to know what you did

And how to remedy it

Or were you looking to duck responsibility?

QUACK------

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Porcellano

August 1

Porcellano

Some days I feel like a porcelain doll; hard head, hard hands, hard feet and everywhere else is soft, gormless.  I feel useless and act out my feelings, stumbling through a day of pointless inactivity.  I know that I belong on a shelf or propped upon the pillows of a bed, not fine enough for curio or collection, merely someone of marginal decorative value.  I have gotten away from the meaning of me, the thrum of G-d’s intentions and am trapped in this world of elaboration; everything is embellished and nothing is real.  It is time to put my foot down; to feel the earth solid and right, to catch my mind and take it out of its greasy spin.  I am not a China doll and it is time to walk away from these purloined thoughts.

Wear a white cotton cord around your waist

*

I KNOW

I know more than I understand.

I know more than I let on.

I know right from wrong

Left from right, uphill from down.

I know you have my best interest at heart

I know I often don’t.

I know it hurts when I fall

But holding on isn’t easy.

I know that wanting is not needing

And needing is not enough

I know old thinking breeds old action

But new thinking is often wild

And requires two minds for review.

I know to look three ways before crossing the street

Because trouble sometimes hits head on.

I know that if life is the question, yes is the answer

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

ROUS's

May 27

ROUSs

Time passes, I clock it and count it and use its passage to construct a defense or accusation depending on my need.  I use the calendar to condemn you because my feelings do not have sufficient leverage for my mental calculations.  To prize disappointment from this scene I watch the water-clock waiting for adequate drops to lift the flood gate and free me from your unfulfilled promise and my unrealized hope.  How long is too long to stand in a quagmire?  Why do I feel the need for permission to leave the quicksand? 

Match persistence with cheer

*

DOLL

Why is your face all red, asked my sponsor?

I didn’t get my way, I responded

And this crimson appearance is the result?

You see that it is

I was very careful about what I wanted

And worked hard to be reasonable.

And Baby , you were, you did nothing wrong

Your ego was in check

And you kept your expectations in proportion

Said my sponsor

Then why didn’t it work out my way?

I only have a sad and simple answer for you

The results had nothing to do with you.

Your wants, expectations or desires,

The whole experience boils down to only one thing

It wasn’t that type of party, Doll.

Oh.

Doll

June 5

DOLL

“Why is your face all red?” asked my sponsor.

“I didn’t get my way,” I responded.

“And this crimson appearance is the result?”

“You see that it is.  I was very careful about what I wanted and worked hard to be reasonable.”

“And Baby, you were.  You did nothing wrong.  Your ego was in check and you kept your expectations in proportion.” said my sponsor.

“Then why didn’t it work out my way?”

“I only have a sad and simple answer for you.  The result had nothing to do with you, your wants, expectations or desires.  The whole experience boils down to only one thing: It was not that type of party, Doll.”

“Oh.”

Promise yourself tears like rain and smiles like sunshine.

*

Discussions with my Disease

“You’re not the girl I used to know.”

“Not the girl you used to love is what you mean?”

“You’re different is all I mean to say.”

“The rest you leave there to rot, unsaid?”

“Something has happened to you.”

“Is it something that you do not like?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Or is it that you never knew?”

“One false move could break us up.”

“All your moves are false

why will one more cause such change?”

Porcellano

August 1

Porcellano

Some days I feel like a porcelain doll; hard head, hard hands, hard feet and everywhere else is soft, gormless. I feel useless and act out my feelings, stumbling through a day of pointless inactivity. I know that I belong on a shelf or propped upon the pillows of a bed, not fine enough for curio or collection, merely someone of marginal decorative value. I have gotten away from the meaning of me, the thrum of G-d’s intentions and am trapped in this world of elaboration; everything is embellished and nothing is real. It is time to put my foot down; to feel the earth solid and right, to catch my mind and take it out of its greasy spin. I am not a China doll and it is time to walk away from these purloined thoughts.

Wear a white cotton cord around your waist

*

I KNOW

I know more than I understand.

I know more than I let on.

I know right from wrong

Left from right, uphill from down.

I know you have my best interest at heart

I know I often don’t.

I know it hurts when I fall

But holding on isn’t easy.

I know that wanting is not needing

And needing is not enough

I know old thinking breeds old action

But new thinking is often wild

And requires two minds for review.

I know to look three ways before crossing the street

Because trouble sometimes hits head on.

I know that if life is the question, yes is the answer

Madame Alexander

May 15

Madame Alexander

I am, too naïve; if you show me kindness I will believe you, follow you, obey you, so, I have rules. These rules do not protect me, but they do make a box for me to seal myself inside. Where I will ship myself, stack myself; hide myself so well, that even I do not know. I pull the flaps down and pray not to have to make any real decisions. I fold my arms and close my mind, believing I could never adequately open it enough to safely live in the world outside of this closet. Here I sit wondering what to write on this label in order to be left alone all the while longing for true love, a thing never given to a quivering china doll shut up in a carton at the bottom of a wardrobe.

Make a suggestion box for your heart

*

CELEBRATIONS

You wore a wrist corsage to the dump?

You said to celebrate every activity

I retorted to my sponsor

Yes, by doing them with purpose.

Not everything needs to be a production number

Sometimes just showing up is enough

Putting to much energy into preparation

Can leave you without resources

It’s okay to make an appearance

Do the simple act and move on

That is a celebration in its own way

Don’t squander your vitality on the mundane.

Do you know what I mean, asks my sponsor?

Don’t waste flowers on trash heaps, I answer

Yes, and don’t wipe your bottom with poetry

I mention this in case you get any ideas!