The Bear

June 16

THE BEAR

Living with my disease is like having a sleeping bear in the house.  I knew it was there, could hear it snore.  I never felt comfortable or able to turn my back on it and get on with my life.  I felt under certain threat.  Fearing the bear would wake when my attention was elsewhere, I proceeded to poke my sleeping bear with a stick.  I prodded it to wakefulness; in retrospect, it is clear I was unprepared for a wakeful bear, even with my full attention fixed on this brute.  The bear, which is my disease, roamed about the house and made forays out into the world. I had no plan or tool for these events.   Finding a legion of people who had worked out living arrangements with their bears, I happily joined their ranks.  My bear wakes and sleeps at its will but I am no longer afraid or unskilled at handling this creature.  Today I am so grateful for the bear in my life and would never want a life without it.  I live in a world filled with bears and would be at a loss as to how to exist if not for the practice and success with the bear that is my own.

Draw a picture of time.

*

Limen

Do you leave when it is time to go

or are you the type who exits early?

Does departure time find you lingering

trying to squeeze out one more minute

rooted in this spot?

Are you the kind of person who loves the street,

but avoids the parade?

Can you bear to go, bear to stay,

bear to think that the world exists beyond this door?

Do you move with the other sheep

when all the crowd says, “Baa.”

Are you fleet with a sky full of clouds obeying the breeze,

flaunting the tides?

Do you change with the seasons

or are you passed from hand to hand,

living your life in the snow of a globe?

My life is my life,

but the most vital evidence of how I live it

is what I do on thresholds.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Doll

June 5

DOLL

“Why is your face all red?” asked my sponsor.

“I didn’t get my way,” I responded.

“And this crimson appearance is the result?”

“You see that it is.  I was very careful about what I wanted and worked hard to be reasonable.”

“And Baby, you were.  You did nothing wrong.  Your ego was in check and you kept your expectations in proportion.” said my sponsor.

“Then why didn’t it work out my way?”

“I only have a sad and simple answer for you.  The result had nothing to do with you, your wants, expectations or desires.  The whole experience boils down to only one thing: It was not that type of party, Doll.”

“Oh.”

Promise yourself tears like rain and smiles like sunshine.

*

Discussions with my Disease

“You’re not the girl I used to know.”

“Not the girl you used to love is what you mean?”

“You’re different is all I mean to say.”

“The rest you leave there to rot, unsaid?”

“Something has happened to you.”

“Is it something that you do not like?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Or is it that you never knew?”

“One false move could break us up.”

“All your moves are false

why will one more cause such change?”

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Drowning Naked

April 19

DROWNING NAKED

Bare and exposed, I laid myself on the altar of my home group.  With AA as my only Source, I emptied the contents of my soul and bore the mantle of overexposure.  But vultures lurked in many rooms.  I was safely guided, by persons of my gender, to the more secluded and effective place of transmission.  I thrust myself into the arms and mind of my sponsor.  She escorted me up the steps with the door closed and taught me how and when it could be prudently opened.  AA is a power greater than me.  So is the ocean.  Precaution needs to be taken when wading in.  Care must be exercised as to how much to bare.

Wrap your intentions in wool to keep them warm and in gold to keep them untarnished.

*

Bound

The reason the sleeves of my disease

wrap around and tie in the back

is so that I will struggle with change.

Alcoholism is my straightjacket

and my goal is that ‘loose garment life’

I’ve heard so much about.

The sweat I work up

from railing against my confining existence

causes petulance, frothing and enervation,

Defeat is the landing on which I collapse,

acceptance a flight of steps away.

My ailment leads me to believe

I have nothing to hold onto as I adjust.

Though this isn’t true,

the fact remains that this is still

a process of letting go.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

A Verse to the Wise

September 28

A Verse to the Wise

Encoding truth into poetry makes reality survivable by giving readers the opportunity to dig truth up like diamonds.  Throwing certainty in peoples faces like cold water gives them a wake up call but nothing to embrace. The beauty of semaphore is the dance that need not be understood by everyone who sees it.  Communication through device leaves headroom and breathing space while acceptance might be reached.  The current of a conversation often leads me to face the facts, but a tsunami of candor could drown me.

Exhaust reaction with reason

*

DENY ONE---DENY THE OTHER

If you want to deny the problem

By necessity you must deny the solution.

Resolving a problem whose existence is rejected

Creates a split in the crust of collusion.

Often times the convolution and reconvolution of addiction

Causes a bloated roiling mass

That rolls through the streets of sanity.

How can a wedge be cut in a creature so dense.

How can I work on piecing together remedies

When I am readily assured by fellow sufferers

There is NO DISEASE?

Can I trust my personal depletions?

Can I employ faith to a resolution

When faith is utilized to fortify

The contagion I’m told doesn’t exist

But if not faith what?

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Doll

June 5

DOLL

“Why is your face all red?” asked my sponsor.

“I didn’t get my way,” I responded.

“And this crimson appearance is the result?”

“You see that it is.  I was very careful about what I wanted and worked hard to be reasonable.”

“And Baby, you were.  You did nothing wrong.  Your ego was in check and you kept your expectations in proportion.” said my sponsor.

“Then why didn’t it work out my way?”

“I only have a sad and simple answer for you.  The result had nothing to do with you, your wants, expectations or desires.  The whole experience boils down to only one thing: It was not that type of party, Doll.”

“Oh.”

Promise yourself tears like rain and smiles like sunshine.

*

Discussions with my Disease

“You’re not the girl I used to know.”

“Not the girl you used to love is what you mean?”

“You’re different is all I mean to say.”

“The rest you leave there to rot, unsaid?”

“Something has happened to you.”

“Is it something that you do not like?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“Or is it that you never knew?”

“One false move could break us up.”

“All your moves are false

why will one more cause such change?”