why is it so hard to be me?

April 1

Why is it so hard to be me?

I have everything I could wish for.  I have love and friendship, I have talent and ability.  What more could I want?  I don’t want more, I want to learn how to overcome fear and live with disappointment.  Abundance is ever at the door, but I have no room for plenty.  Reassurance is the thing I chase after, yearn for, pine about, but it is an illusive thing like taking hold of smoke.  Allusion is the gift-wrap of reality the unwrapping often puts me off the contents; regaining my composure and reestablishing willingness is a difficult job requiring dedication and fortitude.  The barrier before the carefree me is thought the strongest of all substance.  I must heal the calcifications of my mind and resist rigidity.  My thinking is what makes being me problematic without it I am nothing at all. 

Free fun from the shackles of expectation

*

ACCEPTANCE, ACTION, CHANGE

Acceptance equals action
Without action, acceptance is a death sentence
Action puts me in the hands of my Higher power
Inaction puts me at the mercy of others or worse self-justification
For acceptance to glow with life it must be moving

Action equals change
Action without change is repetition
The moon does not change
It orbits flat on it's face, forever dark on one side
And a mere reflection on the other

Change equals acceptance
Change sparks possibilities in mundane endeavor
Change without acceptance is a walk off a cliff
For change to endure, agreement is necessary
A one-sided argument is fascism and fraudulence

The heart of change is acceptance
Beating the blood of hope to the extremities
Whether we circle the heavens
Or the bowl depends on the cohesion of
Acceptance, Action and Change

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Wax On

March 13

Wax On

“Sometimes a dish is just a dish,” I said to my sponsor.

“Yes and sometimes it is the world away, which you hold in your hand,” her reply.

I stand at the sink and try to wash the dishes when I am washing the dishes.  I try to drive the car when I drive the car.  These simple acts of concentration, focus and sooth the jagged mental sutures where I am supposed to be coming together, but ultimately come apart.  Anything to break my frenetic gyrations is a blessing, anything to cut away to a closer view and a clearer understanding of where I really am; anything to derail the speeding blur of a life of my creation is good.  What I do and who I am are secrets and mysteries when I don’t know how to pay attention and ironies when I do.  And if you doubt me, just go ask Arnold.

Contrast confusion

*

BLUE CROWS

Blue crows streak across my dreaming minds sky
They take up their post in a line of trees
I stand at the edge of a burning field

I feel nauseous at the thought of glorifying an 'active' life.
Everything is burned, scared and crumpled
The flashy crows call from the hedgerow.

I know it's time to fly
The fire is out and I have work to do.
To keep the sparks and dormant embers from ruining another harvest.

I must travel with these strange birds
And live an odd but regimented life
I needn't scorch my feet on this ground again.

Like my companions I must spend sometime in survey
If I do not fully assess this damage
I might not fully embrace this dawn.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Hawaiian Graffiti

August 9

HAWAIIAN GRAFFITI

White pebbles spell themselves across the black of lava grown cold.  Personal announcements proclaim love, school pride, religious freedom.  The care of placement and consideration of design make the roadside an ongoing mineral memo.  What message would I care to share?  What words would prompt me to bring a pail of crushed marble to the edge of the road?  Is there a truth so urgent I would take time from paradise to spell it out?  A few more miles and I see the words I live by strewn down the thoroughfare, “it works if you work it.”

Joint your possibilities.

*

Pick up Your Hammer and Saw

The task infers the tool, I know this,

yet I resist clearly mapping my insanity.

I look into the well of my despair

then quickly I look away,

I fear informing God what I need

lest the need be filled.

I need to believe that a power will heal me,

but if I am provided with the force of life,

I shrink from the prospect.

This too, must be added to the list

of my emotional woes and mental shortages.

This too, will be healed.

I look at my problems

and then realize, that like the moon,

who pulls the water from dry shore to dry shore,

solutions are installed in heaven and earth

if I know what the problem is.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Wake

July 24

WAKE

Don’t worry that you might spoil the procession by getting out of your coffin. You don’t need to lie there waiting for the lid to close.  People will walk past saying, “so sad,” and “too bad,” but don’t lie in state to keep them from feeling their trip was a waste.  Just because the crypt has been purchased doesn’t mean you are ready to go.  There are still opportunities to dance.  Don’t die for love, glory or pride.  Don’t die before your time.  Death is only an honor if you lived every preceding second.

Learn to use your appliances well.

*

Speak!

Are there songs a bird must not sing

while communing with the flock?

Do fish learn to restrain their expressions

while schooling?

Or are we the only animal

versed in the language of taboo?

I wonder when I hear the cows

lowing in the night are they giving whispered voice

to things they longed to moo about all day.

I know what to keep inside,

things too flamboyant for out of doors.

I understand to keep body and soul together

I must keep down and hush,

But when I complain to my pup

does she comprehend or is it

just blah, blah, blah,

in her world of, ‘speak it like it is?’

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

The Bear

June 16

THE BEAR

Living with my disease is like having a sleeping bear in the house.  I knew it was there, could hear it snore.  I never felt comfortable or able to turn my back on it and get on with my life.  I felt under certain threat.  Fearing the bear would wake when my attention was elsewhere, I proceeded to poke my sleeping bear with a stick.  I prodded it to wakefulness; in retrospect, it is clear I was unprepared for a wakeful bear, even with my full attention fixed on this brute.  The bear, which is my disease, roamed about the house and made forays out into the world. I had no plan or tool for these events.   Finding a legion of people who had worked out living arrangements with their bears, I happily joined their ranks.  My bear wakes and sleeps at its will but I am no longer afraid or unskilled at handling this creature.  Today I am so grateful for the bear in my life and would never want a life without it.  I live in a world filled with bears and would be at a loss as to how to exist if not for the practice and success with the bear that is my own.

Draw a picture of time.

*

Limen

Do you leave when it is time to go

or are you the type who exits early?

Does departure time find you lingering

trying to squeeze out one more minute

rooted in this spot?

Are you the kind of person who loves the street,

but avoids the parade?

Can you bear to go, bear to stay,

bear to think that the world exists beyond this door?

Do you move with the other sheep

when all the crowd says, “Baa.”

Are you fleet with a sky full of clouds obeying the breeze,

flaunting the tides?

Do you change with the seasons

or are you passed from hand to hand,

living your life in the snow of a globe?

My life is my life,

but the most vital evidence of how I live it

is what I do on thresholds.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Home to Hope

May 26

HOME TO HOPE

Shadows of doubt fall across my face on dark days and I have trouble finding my way home to hope.  Reliance on sunshine fails me come dusk.  Twinkling stars bare their souls to little avail.  I am lost.  Absurdity and obsession plague me for time and attention.  I wander deeper into a dismal wood.  How can I chop my way free?  Dejection dulls my senses; I am blind to solemn assurance.  I must reevaluate the shimmering enthusiasm from the night sky.  Skepticism passes like storm clouds, I may feel the rain for a time; necessity reigns on both sides of every street but still I can crawl into my bed.  Morning will come and I will fear less the coming night.

Hop right after you put your foot down and you can skip most of your problems.

*

Estranged

After long years I have made my own acquaintance,

friendship is on a far distant shore.

I know who I am and can recognize myself

on the street or in a crowded room.

I have a legitimate sense of wariness

of the  afore mentioned persona,

nothing too nasty, just a discomfort.

She is not someone I would bring home,

maybe not even share a meal with

but I can stand her, minus intimacy,

minus any deep empathy.

I feel an awkwardness in acknowledging her,

strange as this might sound.

She is no one to be ashamed of,

not a truly bad actor

Yet the reports say she doesn’t live up to her potential

and I have it on personal authority

that she actually surpasses it on most days

and keeps this a closely held confidence.

And there it is, I know her secrets

but I don’t keep her.

This is what makes me strange and her stranger.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Celebrations

May 24

CELEBRATIONS

“You wore a wrist corsage to the dump?”

“You said to celebrate every activity,” I retorted to my sponsor.

“Yes, by doing them with purpose.  Not everything needs to be a production number.  Sometimes just showing up is enough.  Putting too much energy into preparation can leave you without resources.  It’s okay to make an appearance, do the simple act and move on.  That is a celebration in its own way.  Don’t squander your vitality on the mundane.  Do you know what I mean?” asks my sponsor.

“Don’t waste flowers on trash heaps?"  I answer.

“Yes, and don’t wipe your bottom with poetry.  I mention this in case you get any ideas.”

Put flower petals in your phone book

*

If Garfunkel Was Here

Speak of the dead and paint the living.

Paint them in a good light when you can

and into a corner when you have to.

Read the books of future generations

rather than acting as the arrogant,

who attempt to write these volumes.

Expunge nothing leave it all on view,

but move past it after taking in the implications.

Water flows under the bridge until it collapses

then it carries the bridge away.

So, speak of the dead don’t drown them,

paint the living don’t stain them,

look to the future don’t dictate to it

and let the water run.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

K-Turns

May 7

K-TURNS

I do not believe in a universe that makes complete sense.  I often find myself trapped because the things I pull into no longer feel firm.  I attempt K-turns in alleys far too narrow for the maneuver.  I can’t back myself through the passages I plunged into willingly.  My faith doesn’t compute in reverse and I find this disconcerting.  I may walk into the face of fire but find it impossible to turn my back on the flames.  Today, a one-way faith is fine as long as I am moving forward.

Allow talents to unfold like spring leaves.

*

The Little Black Dress

The holes in my pockets cause me to feel naked.

Though it is an inside pocket

and no one can see I still feel exposed,

My thinking changed and for that matter chained,

one link looped through the next.

I start with a hole in my pocket

so I know I can’t stay in this dress all day.

I know I will need the storage later as time wears on

but I can’t change now

and I don’t want to waste time putting on my tights.

My legs are cold.  I fly from room to room.

I gather my keys, but forget my phone.

I am bare legged and unreachable,

overexposed due to a hole in my pocket.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

The Playground

April 14

THE PLAYGROUND

Getting my ass kicked in the playground of my mind was once a daily event.  Now, it is a far off memory.  I absent myself from the jungle gym the same way I absent myself from bars---places set with traps and schemes I am no longer attracted to.  Bullies and ego trips can’t draw me toward the fence.  Dares and double-dares are such ancient devices I can’t even find the trigger they used to pull.  Trouble doesn’t know my new name, my sober name; I don’t answer to the old one.  I hate to admit the isolation of my school yard days, but no one I knew back then will keep me on the road to the future.  So, I leave the ball in their court and wish them well.

Expectations are lovely as long as you leave off the outcomes.

*

Not Fur but Fin

You can’t delay the river,

I’ve tried, all it does is distort.

I block the flow and swamp ensues,

mighty oaks waist deep in water.

The current is strong

and I fear being swept away,

not realizing I was born to swim.

Dreading the swim back for spawn

I try to stay too close to my origins,

never make it to open water,

never to live the life I was intended for.

I’ve heard it said,

“Don’t push the river it flows by itself,”

but I can’t stall it either.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Acceptance, Action, Change

April 3

ACCEPTANCE, ACTION, CHANGE

Acceptance equals action.  Without action, acceptance is a death sentence.  Action puts me in the hands of my Higher Power; inaction puts me at the mercy of others, or worse, self-justification.  For acceptance to glow with life, it must be moving. 

Action equals change.  Action without change is repetition.  The moon does not change.  It orbits flat on its face, forever dark on one side and a mere reflection on the other.  Change sparks possibilities in mundane endeavor.

Change equals acceptance.  Change without acceptance is a walk off a cliff.  For change to endure, agreement is necessary.  A one-sided argument is fascism and fraudulence.  The heart of change is acceptance, beating the blood of hope to the extremities.  Whether we circle the heavens or the bowl depends on the cohesion of acceptance, action and change.

Listen to new music, sing old music.

*

Give Me a Goose Any Day

The geese breaking wind resistance,

the close ones,

the far ones,

the ones behind trumpeting

this is the gang who gets me sober

and keeps me that way.

Maybe you think that God is not a flock of geese,

but it has been my experience

and the honking and the mess are part of it all.

I spend my days making sure I am one of them.

Sometimes I am even in the lead,

which may seem like a place of honor and prestige,

but is actually a lot of hard work.

Sometime I am the cheering squawker

who makes my encouragement heard.

Other times I am the one waddling around

leaving an untidiness behind me.

All of this just makes me part of the flock.

I am especially fond of my nest mates

though they are often the ones I chase

and bluster at the most.

I feel a sense of identity and pride

when I see any goose flying high

and I know that because we don’t do it alone

we are able to do it together.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Again Truth

December 31

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth doesn’t change the truth, truth is funny that way, it is not affected by my cold shoulder.  I snub it and it stands just the same.  I am the one who bends and withers.  Truth withstands the pressure that I never have, the force of other people’s disappointment and regret.  I have sympathy or is it cowardice?  I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on.  I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place; for truth is not a beating heart and I am too much a feeling creature, but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right.  And stand under the arching bough of truth, because it is a shelter from the winds of change and I need all the help I can get.  When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience I will try to remember that life is longer than I think and if I don’t face the truth now it is going to be in my face later when I might be less prepared.

Make the bed so that it is an invitation at the end of the day

*

Essentials

What is essential....is the correct amount of pressure as I press my lips to yours.

What is essential....is the way I slide my arms around your neck and slip my fingers through your hair.

What is essential....is the scent that rises from the nape of my neck as you kiss it.

What is essential....is the moan you illicit from my soul

What is essential....beyond the toe curl and the secret smile is well founded trust, also admiration.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Age and Death

December 22

Age and Death

When death was young

It did its job cleanly no mincing about

Now the uncertainty and old age tremble

Leave the world filled with half dead zombies

Living is less for the faltering of death

I would rather be struck down swiftly with a scythe

Than bludgeoned endlessly with a butter knife

Sing with the wind

*

Before Pearls

You must stop crying

You must

The endless tears will poison you

Your teeth and soul, the life of you

Just because you don’t know how you can go on

Doesn’t mean the world will stop to let you off

The raw red rough of it will drag you to its lair

Doing what it will with you, there is no hope to spare

Unloved child you must go on

Lied to and misguided doesn’t change the time

There is nowhere to lie down and sleep

No safe and sheltered home

So dry your face, pick up your pack

Carry all your freight

Close your eyes to beauty

Close your ears to lies

You are the only oyster

The sand your only prize

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Night Spaces

December 8

Night Spaces

When it gets dark it gets dark fast.  They say, night falls, though sometimes it feels like it falls down.  What is little realized is there is a lifting when the light has gone away, the sky raises its roof and there is more air to breathe.  Long lost is the pink wisp that heralded this night and far ahead is the next wisp of pink singing up the moon.

Believe in someone

*

WHAT’S MINE IS MINE

I don’t always know how to get the dog off the baby.
The attacks are often sudden and always swift.
My shock at the reality delays my response.
Falters my steps and fogs my mind.

What should I do to disengage this assault?
What can I do that won’t make things worse?
How can I resolve this now?

The pain is almost unimaginable
But yet all too familiar.
It all comes down to ownership
I must admit this baby is me.

I have to face this dog is my pet.
I have fed and groomed him
And now I have to put this dog to sleep.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Poorly Chirping

December 1

Poorly Chirping

She writes poetry like fusion jazz, more fun to make than to listen to.  She stands at the podium serving as a bad example.  I pray as she reads, “Lord, please don’t let me get sucked into the self-importance of bad poetry for the sake of peering peers, and forgetting to write what is there for the world, the readers, the things which bring the word pictures and sets them before me.  Lord, remind me that the writing is not done for me, but done as Billy Collins quotes, for the love of strangers.”

Tops spin, do you?

*

DO WE SEE

The old man walked down the road to see the end,
I followed to glimpse the fruit of his pursuit.
Does the highway come to rest
Or like the river just feed a greater sea?

And time, will the clock stop him?
Can he win the treasure hunt
As the seconds tick away on the metronome?

Will the slowing of his steps
And the advancing of his age
Create a curve which will prevent his accomplishment?

Does this tag-along I am doing
Make me a part of his project?
The road is long and its end may never come, only ours.

When we take the road the road takes us.
More and less is what we are and so too the road.
I follow the contour of the ground
Which curves around the world
Spinning in our sky so we can all see the stars.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Surf's Up

November 16

Surfs Up

The first time I arrive at the beach the tide is a shock to me.  I had no way to anticipate it.  As the days pass I calm, realizing there is a rhythm and that the sea won’t escape the shore.  Over time I begin to anticipate the movement and then rely on it.  I learn to live with the in and out nature of the water lapping the lip of sand; what it brings and what it takes away.  I am human.  I adapt.  I survive.  How do I make the jump to blessing the moon?  How do I touch the divine?

Forgive your common errors, make note of the uncommon

*

ENDLESS PASTA

Having limits, in a seemingly limitless universe,
makes me feel horribly inadequate.
I am a sad little creature
in the face of overwhelming tasks.

Pressure and unwarranted ego
compress my ability and eager disposition.
I am forced to see there are choices
outside my qualifications and willingness.

Going on in the face of crushing requirements
extrudes my life force into a plateful of capellini
Lying exposed with no gravy to keep me warm
it is hard to realize in this world of wonder and delight
a plate of naked spaghetti can’t do it all.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

When I'm Gone

November 15

When I’m Gone

When I’m gone I hope they’ll say I tried real hard and did my best

But more likely will be the lament; she didn’t live up to her potential.

When I’m gone I pray the song will be one of tinkling bells and uplifted voices

But more likely is a disparate confusion of musical chairs.

When I’m gone I wish that my banner will be raised by knowing arms

But more likely will be a shuffle of my undecipherable notes, then the circular file.

When I’m gone I would like my dreams to fly to the ears and eyes of friends and take refuge

But more likely these dreams will chase me down the long corridor and be nothing but my shadow in the long dark night.

Ask your own questions

*

NAVY DUCK
When the postcard is hung upside down
The plane flies away on its back.
I know one of those irregular days
With the disposition of a bee stung mule
Is on its way to visit me.

I have found diplomacy goes a long way
And when it runs out, humor is the best fall back.
Nothing mean or sophomoric but the ability to laugh
Is a fortune in the face of a bankrupt day.

When the sun sets on these spare and harrowing days
I mortgage strength from tomorrow
And right the picture---then fly right.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Matching

October 14

Matching

“Matching calamity for serenity,” is a task requiring attentive diligence.  Each tragedy has its unique blast pattern and necessitates a precisely cut cure.  Coverage is one concern and depth is another, the weight of the healing atmosphere must equal the corrosive depletion caused by ruin.  I have to make available the wound in order to receive the remedy; anytime I camouflage or barricade my injury I have eliminated the opportunity for a corresponding solution.  Knowing this fact and answering it with right action is the job of a lifetime, but I cannot think of a more productive use of my time.

Admit to the uniforms you wear

*

SLIPSTREAM

I look in the rearview mirror
I see the headliner and a river flowing out behind me.
Dual viewing is the kind gift of hindsight.

I can see my internal workings and the past laid bare.
The beauty and sadness can transfix me.
I will lose my way if I keep looking back.

I catch glimpses and move my eyes forward.
I can’t advance without a full vision
So I remain grateful for the mirror.
Awareness and cognition, the brakes and the gas
I have the full package.
I just have to make sure to steer.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Have Faith

October 4

Have Faith

Strange and wonderful tragedy takes you away from me and I don’t know how it is that you return, but you do and I thank G-d, but I’m not sure it was G-d’s idea that you went away or that you came back, though, I am sure, He missed you every bit as much as I did.  I revolve the freshness of you in my mouth like candy; I swirl, but don’t want to crack it open.  Honeymoons are for people who live comprehendible lives; we fly to each other and cling like raptors plummeting to the ground.  You leave your mark upon me I do the same for you; we are none the worse for the wear.  I stand in the gush from the hydrant, soaked in the pleasure, forgoing the safety.  The world may burn down again tomorrow, I remember that it has before, but I am wiser for the singeing and weathered with soot in my eyes and charcoal piled roundabout my legs, yet I’m still standing and you are back from the dead and I think of you as Lazarus.  And now we will live the comedy for life is what lay ahead, we took the hit of death before its time and so must be off the hook for the rest.

Try not to long for Santa

*

FISHING FOR CONTENTMENT

Fishing for contentment

Is a wonderful past time.

But what is used for bait?

Is there a delicacy

To dangle before contentment

To lure it into my life?

Can I crumble the best biscotti

And leave a trail to my door?

I don’t believe contentment

Swims around waiting to be caught.

I think it’s more like the wild yeast

That finds its way to my starter.

If I put the ingredients in my life

Contentment will rise to the occasion.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Saltbox House

October 2

Saltbox House

Refusing to make reasonable demands is quite as dysfunctional as making unreasonable demands.  The opposite of an extreme is often twice as crazy and harder to explain. I open my mouth and dry toast is the reply.  Nothing should be said when nothing can be done and to do nothing is harder than one might think.  I fold my hands but my lap rejects them; I quiet my mind but my soul objects.  I must let my heart sing and trust you enough to ask for help.

Check your speed and direction

*

REJECTION

Rejection as a game of endurance,
A boundary enhancing process
A test of survival
Rejection sought or unsought is a challenge.

Sometimes rejection is a flare
Lighting the need for change of tactics or direction.
Though it is hard to view rejection as a beacon
Rather than condemnation.

Rejection is also the counterbalance for acceptance.
Risk is nothing if rejection is not part of the equation
I cannot value yes if you could not say NO.

Rejection is the safety valve
For putting myself in situations where I don’t belong.
I get sent back to the world of possibilities when the kindness of rejection

Ejects me from wrong choice.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

No Substitute for Fire

October 1

No Substitute for Fire

I wanted alcohol to do better for me than burning did.  I was constantly disappointed, yet I kept trying.  I was not to find pleasure in that bottle though I had no problem finding addiction there.  This is how I came to believe that there is not an upside to everything.  Booze took me to surprising destinations, but never the ones I desired.  I sought release, the release I got from a wildfire spreading across my skin and this might have been mine had I poured the liquor on rather than in.  But in me it did no good, it never let me exhale the way that the “right” kind of pain did. What I got from alcohol drove me though; fear rode me roughshod and I found my way home, it was a bumpy road, but once there we doused the flames and I live the upside I had come to doubt, because fire is no substitute for life.

Randomize the alphabet, then write

*

MY MOON

I anticipate the crowning of your face

As you birth the sky.

Your rhythmic visitation sates me.

The gravity of my need keeps you close.

The tide of my heart pulls you from shore to shore.

We live in the sweet ecstasy of tethered love

Our souls slingshoting across the open palm of heaven

Your empathy for me transforms these shards of ice

To a tender heart satelliteing

I orbit you

Empowered by your kindness

You are my moon.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault