Heart Handed

December 26

HEART HANDED

I pick up the pen in my heart hand and the blood of my soul pours onto the page.  The words coalesce and clot into the binding phrases, sealed deals with my spirit's punctuation.  Some days it is hard for my mind to keep up; the current is swift and deeper than I expect.  The pulse of energy is amazing even to the mind it feeds.  Like clouds racing the sky this power brings shade to some and rain to others.  The reaction of the moistened varies, some pull up hoods and scurry away, others with upturned faces form a friendship with me.  At the level of electrons, we have a molecular bonding, we are forever changed because I have picked up the pen and they picked up the page.

Chain yourself to wisdom.

*

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth

doesn’t change the truth,

truth is funny that way,

it is not affected by my cold shoulder.

I snub it and it stands just the same.

I am the one who bends and withers.

Truth withstands the pressure that I never have,

the force of other people’s disappointment and regret.

I have sympathy or is it cowardice?

I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on.

I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place;

for truth is not a beating heart

and I am too much a feeling creature,

but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right.

And stand under the arching bough of truth,

because it is a shelter from the winds of change

and I need all the help I can get.

When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience

I will try to remember that life is longer than I think

and if I don’t face the truth now

it is going to be in my face later

when I might be less prepared.

Vlog:  http://youtu.be/OeEIHBwvnnA

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Wake

July 24

WAKE

Don’t worry that you might spoil the procession by getting out of your coffin. You don’t need to lie there waiting for the lid to close.  People will walk past saying, “so sad,” and “too bad,” but don’t lie in state to keep them from feeling their trip was a waste.  Just because the crypt has been purchased doesn’t mean you are ready to go.  There are still opportunities to dance.  Don’t die for love, glory or pride.  Don’t die before your time.  Death is only an honor if you lived every preceding second.

Learn to use your appliances well.

*

Speak!

Are there songs a bird must not sing

while communing with the flock?

Do fish learn to restrain their expressions

while schooling?

Or are we the only animal

versed in the language of taboo?

I wonder when I hear the cows

lowing in the night are they giving whispered voice

to things they longed to moo about all day.

I know what to keep inside,

things too flamboyant for out of doors.

I understand to keep body and soul together

I must keep down and hush,

But when I complain to my pup

does she comprehend or is it

just blah, blah, blah,

in her world of, ‘speak it like it is?’

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Liberty Hope?

July 3

LIBERTY HOPE?

If you had to choose, would it be liberty or hope?  Liberty is highly recommended, but without hope, how would you know you were at liberty?  Transversely if you have no liberty, how could you have hope?  Removal of liberty removes the possibility of hope.  So, why ask for a choice to be made?  Well, that’s the joy of liberty.  I am free to ask anything and you are free to imagine anything and hope for more.

Plan a diet for your fears.

*

Tyler’s Truth

The snow is dying,

pouring itself into the creeks and riverbeds.

sacrificing its crystalline structure and community

for the ubiquitous oneness of liquid.

drawn by the gravitational lure of the ocean.

Unity conquers the frozen individuated whole.

pulled from coast to coast the sun tempts the water’s life,

the sea gives up her soul to the sky

to be reborn as snow once more.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Again Truth

December 31

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth doesn’t change the truth, truth is funny that way, it is not affected by my cold shoulder.  I snub it and it stands just the same.  I am the one who bends and withers.  Truth withstands the pressure that I never have, the force of other people’s disappointment and regret.  I have sympathy or is it cowardice?  I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on.  I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place; for truth is not a beating heart and I am too much a feeling creature, but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right.  And stand under the arching bough of truth, because it is a shelter from the winds of change and I need all the help I can get.  When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience I will try to remember that life is longer than I think and if I don’t face the truth now it is going to be in my face later when I might be less prepared.

Make the bed so that it is an invitation at the end of the day

*

Essentials

What is essential....is the correct amount of pressure as I press my lips to yours.

What is essential....is the way I slide my arms around your neck and slip my fingers through your hair.

What is essential....is the scent that rises from the nape of my neck as you kiss it.

What is essential....is the moan you illicit from my soul

What is essential....beyond the toe curl and the secret smile is well founded trust, also admiration.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Poe-etiquette

June 17

Poe-etiquette

Cosmic questions cross the sky,

I wonder but don’t ask why

I pitch the tent, but don’t stay the night

I borrow money and don’t pay the rent

I sooth myself but can’t be content

I earn my keep though it is all been spent

The real true meanings are pushed away,

Has ready tragedy come to stay

Forever darkness, no more light of day

Cheerful greeting left to lay

All the poets bring their knives

For blood letting’s become their prize

Here I sit and tend the boat

Rocking dingy out to moor

I play the Raven, black and poor

I dare not speak it but in my mind sing “Never more”

Be wary of magical thinking

*

RECOGNIZABLE NONEXISTENCE

You will never take time to tell the truth

You will always take time to tell a joke,

As you run from your life

I see the familiar vapor trails of an unlived life.

When I flee my life through caretaking

I leave the same mist of unfulfilled desire behind me

I look at your potential

And the damage you do by not being here

I turn the magnifying glass on me

And search for the same trends.

I feel abandoned by you

The you, you never were

But always should have been

I pray for the key

Which will get me on the other side

Of the door you never opened.

I hope to live life

As it is

Rather than the comedy

It can never be.

Inspection

May 22

Inspection

My disease paid a discourtesy call on my bourgeoning sobriety.  Peeked in to look for cracks in my foundation; weaknesses to exploit.  I recognized the patch job I had toyed with would have made the easiest of targets for this eroding thug.  I am ever so grateful that I cleaned off all the bricks and made new mortar.  Built on bedrock my re-laid block will withstand the indignity of the pounding, prodding sickness which use to inhabit this once dilapidated space. I can keep the villain at bay and live my cozy life thanks to a true level and the handsome turn of my trough.

Personal knowledge is not the same as group knowledge

*

SPACE

I stand behind the podium

And talk about the event horizon

Which brought me into these rooms.

My audience, other unwitting astronauts,

Whose lives, like mine were deconstructed

By the Black Hole of addiction

Though the time and place may be different

The physics of compulsion and allergy

Are precise and repetitive

Nodding heads affirm my calculations

To be accurate with the vectors

And trajectories of their own experience

I conclude, with the gratitude of a reassembled life

And pray, with gravity

For my feet to stay on the ground.

Don't Bite

December 28

DON’T BITE

Desperation jumps up, runs around, then drops.  If I don’t feed it, desperation burns out fast.  I used to buy the advertising, the Horror, the Humanity.  The acorn falling on my head convinced me easily.  I grew this nut into terrifying despair never realizing if I had left it alone how quickly it would pass.  When tragedy comes there is no time for a performance.  The whirling splendor itself proves the farce.  If I learn to recognize these triggers I might keep from shooting myself in the foot.  If I let desperation wear itself out I can stay with the pack.  Despondence splinters me and separates me from anything rational but quiet resolve lets me watch the wind twist while I keep my feet on the ground.

Pay your friends in consideration and truth.

*

Winter is upon Us

Spending time away from my clothes reminds me how much I love and hate something which only serves to protect and decorate me.  Struggle with necessity, mad opinions about requirements, these are things I lost months and years to in my past and now only find as a sad footnote to the strangeness that is me.  I have so much control over how hard I make things and no control over how hard things are.  I can not set the weather but I can easily don my hat.  Putting on a big pout over needing a hat, ah, well here is where acceptance plays a major role.  I do however find comfort in the fact that I am not alone in this, I watch my poodle fret when her hair grows too long and shiver when it is shorn too short on cold crisp days.  It’s good to have a fellow quibbler as I pull a blanket over her and slip on my hat.

Heart Handed

December 26

HEART HANDED

I pick up the pen in my heart hand and the blood of my soul pours onto the page.  The words coalesce and clot into the binding phrases, sealed deals with my spirit's punctuation.  Some days it is hard for my mind to keep up; the current is swift and deeper than I expect.  The pulse of energy is amazing even to the mind it feeds.  Like clouds racing the sky this power brings shade to some and rain to others.  The reaction of the moistened varies, some pull up hoods and scurry away, others with upturned faces form a friendship with me.  At the level of electrons, we have a molecular bonding, we are forever changed because I have picked up the pen and they picked up the page.

Chain yourself to wisdom.

*

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth

doesn’t change the truth,

truth is funny that way,

it is not affected by my cold shoulder.

I snub it and it stands just the same.

I am the one who bends and withers.

Truth withstands the pressure that I never have,

the force of other people’s disappointment and regret.

I have sympathy or is it cowardice?

I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on.

I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place;

for truth is not a beating heart

and I am too much a feeling creature,

but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right.

And stand under the arching bough of truth,

because it is a shelter from the winds of change

and I need all the help I can get.

When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience

I will try to remember that life is longer than I think

and if I don’t face the truth now

it is going to be in my face later

when I might be less prepared.

Pirouettes

September 27

PIROUETTES

I turn and spin; the world flashes as I go.  I am erect, proud of my self-possession.  I can stand the forces of vector rotation, public opinion and gravity.  Sobriety has made a dancer out of me.  I sprint the stage and take my place.  I know the moves and trust, as best I can, the choreographer and the choreography.  I feel the wind move on my body as I revolve, the blur of existence spreads out before me.  I can let it all pass.  To spot myself and keep my upright posture, the only place that requires my clear and unobstructed view is the line of sight from my sponsor’s eyes to mine.

Let your work speak.

*

A Verse to the Wise

Encoding truth into poetry

makes reality survivable by giving readers

the opportunity to dig truth up like diamonds.

Throwing certainty in people’s faces like cold water

gives them a wakeup call but nothing to embrace.

The beauty of semaphore is the dance

that need not be understood by everyone who sees it.

Communication through device

leaves headroom and breathing space

while acceptance might be reached.

The current of a conversation

often leads me to face the facts,

but a tsunami of candor could drown me.

Strong Words

May 18

STRONG WORDS

Serious language, deep language, real language helps me by grounding me.  I don’t have to be nice for company when I can just tell the truth.  I needn’t have guests with virgin ears or unrealistic expectations, and I no longer pander to such foolishness.  I know the layered meanings of my words and value the intensity of a large vocabulary.  I am not intimidated by prudish co-conspirators who stare down pointed noses at powerful utterances.  Weak words make poor boundaries and breed victims.  I will not be trapped by niceties; I will speak clearly out of necessity.

Allow your integrity to increase the value of your truth.

*

Martinizing

The price of upkeep scares me, it daunts me even.

I pay the initial cost, I have bitten that bullet

of required outlay; the continued charges for maintenance

push my face in the mud until my ears clog.

Avoiding the need of perpetual responsibility

to things, relationships, life, doesn’t change the reality,

rather it embeds in my skin a slick denial and an indignant retort

to the drycleaners and shoe-shiners of the world.

Waste and want play tag inside a misunderstanding

of what is required of me; of what life requires in general.

I must make quietude, draw a map

and find my way to this psychic change;

Unfortunately all the little voices scream

“Yes, you paid the price to see the show,

but you don’t make enough to stay!”

Strong Words

May 18

STRONG WORDS

Serious language, deep language, real language helps me by grounding me.  I don’t have to be nice for company when I can just tell the truth.  I needn’t have guests with virgin ears or unrealistic expectations, and I no longer pander to such foolishness.  I know the layered meanings of my words and value the intensity of a large vocabulary.  I am not intimidated by prudish co-conspirators who stare down pointed noses at powerful utterances.  Weak words make poor boundaries and breed victims.  I will not be trapped by niceties; I will speak clearly out of necessity.

Allow your integrity to increase the value of your truth.

*

Martinizing

The price of upkeep scares me, it daunts me even.

I pay the initial cost, I have bitten that bullet

of required outlay; the continued charges for maintenance

push my face in the mud until my ears clog.

Avoiding the need of perpetual responsibility

to things, relationships, life, doesn’t change the reality,

rather it embeds in my skin a slick denial and an indignant retort

to the drycleaners and shoe-shiners of the world.

Waste and want play tag inside a misunderstanding

of what is required of me; of what life requires in general.

I must make quietude, draw a map

and find my way to this psychic change;

Unfortunately all the little voices scream

“Yes, you paid the price to see the show,

but you don’t make enough to stay!”

Again Truth

December 31

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth doesn’t change the truth, truth is funny that way, it is not affected by my cold shoulder. I snub it and it stands just the same. I am the one who bends and withers. Truth withstands the pressure that I never have, the force of other people’s disappointment and regret. I have sympathy or is it cowardice? I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on. I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place; for truth is not a beating heart and I am too much a feeling creature, but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right. And stand under the arching bough of truth, because it is a shelter from the winds of change and I need all the help I can get. When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience I will try to remember that life is longer than I think and if I don’t face the truth now it is going to be in my face later when I might be less prepared.

Make the bed so that it is an invitation at the end of the day

*

Essentials

What is essential....is the correct amount of pressure as I press my lips to yours.

What is essential....is the way I slide my arms around your neck and slip my fingers through your hair.

What is essential....is the scent that rises from the nape of my neck as you kiss it.

What is essential....is the moan you illicit from my soul

What is essential....beyond the toe curl and the secret smile is well founded trust, also admiration.

The Dark Fanstatic

August 15

The Dark Fantastic

When the tornado touches down worry ends; the anticipation is over and thought stops. Tragedy is funny that way. In the aftermath I find out what mattered and what didn’t; whether I have helped or injured myself trying to plan for the worst. I fail to realize there are cloud filled days when nothing happens and days when trouble comes from out of the blue. What matters ultimately is if I was happy yesterday all the way into today until the thunder struck. Greed is not: living for today; greed is my attempt at gathering the future while dragging the past.

Compel your brilliance to shine

*

AUTUMN

The falling leaves slap my hand

As I ride the road at fifty mile per

My arm dangling.

Exposed they stand stark,

Stripped naked to the soul.

The growth of this years yearnings on the fringe.

I can follow this lead

Remove pretence not clothing

Stand before all who have an interest in seeing me.

Unashamed of my wants and the things I reach for

I can cast off the uniform of evolution

And enjoy a long winter of truth.

Head Wringing

June 4

Head Wringing

I have my say, though my fear is that I constantly repeat myself; very much the way a crow calls the same thing endlessly, but it all has different meanings to the crow. I would offer a code key to my readers if I could lay my hands on one. My mind whispers that the soothing people get from my work is like the calm induced by chanting monks. Possibly it is more the actor’s trick of reading repetitive lines each time putting the emphasis on a different word; a way of squeezing all the juice from nonsense. I jot ideas swearing these lines are to be found somewhere in my previous work, perhaps whole pages are redundant. Finally I stop this fight reminding myself I have but one voice and what I accuse myself of as similarity might merely be my style.

Find satisfaction in the middle, too

*

OPEN WINDOWS

I roll down the window in the rain

Hoping reality will soak in with the droplets

I tilt my face as I leave the car

And let the water shower my features.

The downpour is the jolt to living for which I have prayed

I stand on my lawn and rinse the day out of my hair

I clear my brain in the fresh rainwater.

The driving rain pounds the house and trees

But I feel massaged and cared for

My skin reflexive, teaches my mind to absorb and hydrate

I turn my thoughts to Greater Powers.

Even if the doors have been closed

I can open the windows

And let the rain come in.

Again Truth

December 31

Again Truth

Not wanting to speak the truth doesn’t change the truth, truth is funny that way, it is not affected by my cold shoulder. I snub it and it stands just the same. I am the one who bends and withers. Truth withstands the pressure that I never have, the force of other people’s disappointment and regret. I have sympathy or is it cowardice? I tremble at the power of emotion and truth just carries on. I do not want to be the truth or stand in its place; for truth is not a beating heart and I am too much a feeling creature, but I will learn to keep the company of honesty and right. And stand under the arching bough of truth, because it is a shelter from the winds of change and I need all the help I can get. When I am tempted to shun truth in favor of expedience I will try to remember that life is longer than I think and if I don’t face the truth now it is going to be in my face later when I might be less prepared.

Make the bed so that it is an invitation at the end of the day

*

Essentials

What is essential....is the correct amount of pressure as I press my lips to yours.

What is essential....is the way I slide my arms around your neck and slip my fingers through your hair.

What is essential....is the scent that rises from the nape of my neck as you kiss it.

What is essential....is the moan you illicit from my soul

What is essential....beyond the toe curl and the secret smile is well founded trust, also admiration.

Do Not Be A Fraud

September 5

DO NOT BE A FRAUD

“Fake it ‘til you make it" is like saying "keep drinking ‘til you get sober,” complains my sponsor.
“But what about the things I can’t do yet?" I ask.
“You work on them; that’s all. You work. You adjust your attitude, practice the steps, carry your behind to meetings and talk with me and the other people in your network.”
"Yeah, that sounds like a breeze."
“Easier than staying sober while lying. In this program we try to stay in the moment and be honest. Pretending to feel differently than you do at any given time defeats your ability to be present and makes it hard for people to trust you.”
“But it’s so awkward,” I grumble.
“Which is why we of the alcoholic persuasion try to find short cuts, but don’t get sucked into them. Tell the truth and do the hard work of sobriety, and stay away from the persons who try to sell you a softer way.”


Let people give advice to you, never take it from them.

Autumn

August 25


AUTUMN



The falling leaves slap my hand as I ride the road at fifty miles per, my arm dangling
The trees are shedding their masquerade
Exposed they stand stark, stripped
Naked to the soul
The growth of this year's yearning waves on the fringe
I can follow this lead
Remove pretense not clothing
Stand before all who have an interest in seeing me
Unashamed of my wants
And the things I reach for
I can cast off the uniform of evolution
And enjoy a long winter of truth


Do what you do.