Today's Math

February 3

Today’s Math

Today is 12/06/06 this is an equation to me, 12 = 6 + 6, simple; not everything is, but math always works for me.   My Higher Power is math based and one of my major decision making tools is to run the equation of the presenting situation.  There are many constants in my life and those numbers are easier to calculate the variables often prove more difficult. Scalable problems allow for my Geometry.  Proofs are a comfort when I can get them.  Set Theory is what I settle for when I can’t.  I try to show all my work and have others check my calculations.  I can’t tell you how often a simple error in addition or subtraction has fouled my whole equation not to mention my equilibrium.  In conclusion I would like to say it is now 12= 9 + 6 and somehow I’ve lost three days, or did I gain them?  See how tricky the signs are.

Put misconception up for sale

*

HOW LIKE THE MOON

I show the shining bright face to the world
But cannot enumerate the dark.
I change and turn for all to see
Glowing sliver, to full fledged smile.

I inventory all phases
Can tell you from wax to wane
But the darkness, the anchor to my lonely life
I can only guess.

I feel my way across the unknown topography
Searching with fingers and faith
To find the secrets
Of this magic nightmare.

And What? What is the thing to break it?
Hope, Reverence, A detailed map
Or is the darkness just a fact,
Part of the big equation, the equalizer of the light?

If this is so, how best to live with it?
Continue the search or post barriers,
Go ever forward looking for an answer,
Endear myself to the void?

The choices are always mine
The way seldom clear.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

My Moon

October 14

MY MOON

I anticipate the crowning of your face as you birth the sky.  Your rhythmic visitation sates me.  The gravity of my need keeps you close.  The tide of my heart pulls you from shore to shore.  We live in the sweet ecstasy of tethered love, our souls slingshotting across the open palm of heaven.  Your empathy for me transforms these shards of ice to a tender heart… satelliting.  I orbit you empowered by your kindness.  You are my moon.

Paint your face and print your profile.

*

Fair Fish

Tiny thoughts ping pong around my head

hoping to win a goldfish,

but what do I need with a five dollar fish?

How often do I pay too dearly,

for what is merely an animated ornament?

When I falter in self-esteem

I look to decorate my life through hostage taking

and other unfair practices.

I know I want to feel safe,

know that hiding gives the illusion of that.

It’s like the joke told about banging sticks

to keep the tigers away.

Does it work?  Yes, of course

as long as you are in a place with no tigers.

I can distract myself,

but I can not distract life;

life goes on and takes me with it, no matter my disguise.

Given this I can either spend my time

with a blindfold and a cigarette waiting for the end

or walk the midway and go ride the tilt-a-whirl.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Feeling Temples

April 10

FEELING TEMPLES

I failed to appreciate the initial onslaught of feelings.  I spent much time trying to capture them, lock them away, or in some other way submarine them.  This only had the effect of retarding my recovery.  I had to reframe my thinking.  I had to start with simple calisthenics, embrace and celebrate.  As my emotional health began to take shape, I started the foundations for tiny shrines, each with its own theme.  Happiness had a party going on until all hours.  With grief, there seemed to be a constant internment in progress, body or no.  Fear showed an IMAX film of the realities of life on earth, and curiosity had an endless library plus a DSL line.  Making myself a willing and frequent visitor to these contrasting places created in me wholeness and peace.  Never again do I have to trudge the two dimensional desert of my monochromatic former life.

Write love letters with your favorite pen.

*

The Key You See

The key you see is letting you accept me.

Oh, how I hide from that, run from that, flee from that.

I must be in control of what you think of me.

I curtain off the view of me

I don’t wish to share with you.

Add to that the unusual choices of what I hide.

I will strip down with all the lights blazing

long before I would let you see me drop the ball,

be confused, misunderstand.

What I truly fail to realize is that in the process

of trying to hide my faux pas and fumbles;

what I show you is my controlling ass.

Backside bare I moon you with my freak show

trying to hide my humanity.

Your compassion and tolerant waiting for me to calm down

and open my eyes is the key I fail to see about you.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

How Like the Moon

February 4

HOW LIKE THE MOON

I show the shining, bright face to the world but can not enumerate the dark.  I change and turn for all to see, glowing sliver to full fledged smile.  I inventory all phases, can tell you from wax to wane, but the darkness, the anchor to my lonely life, I can only guess.  I feel my way across the unknown topography, searching with fingertips and faith to find the secrets of this magic nightmare.  And what?  What is the thing to break it?  Hope?  Reverence?  A detailed map?  Or is the darkness just a fact?  Part of the big equation, the equalizer of the light?  If this is so, how best to live with it?  Continue the search or post barriers?  Go ever forward, looking for an answer?  Endear myself to the void?

The choices are always mine.  The way, seldom clear. 

Breathe with power.

*

Today’s Math

Today is 12/06/06 this is an equation to me,

12 = 6 + 6, simple.

Not everything is, but math always works for me.

My Higher Power is math based

and one of my major decision making tools

is to run the equation of the presenting situation.

There are many constants in my life

and those numbers are easier to calculate

the variables often prove more difficult.

Scalable problems allow for my Geometry.

Proofs are a comfort when I can get them.

Set Theory is what I settle for when I can’t.

I try to show all my work

and have others check my calculations.

I can’t tell you how often a simple error

in addition or subtraction has fouled my whole equation

not to mention my equilibrium.

In conclusion I would like to say it is now 12= 9 + 6

and somehow I’ve lost three days, or did I gain them?

See how tricky the signs are.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Surf's Up

November 16

Surfs Up

The first time I arrive at the beach the tide is a shock to me.  I had no way to anticipate it.  As the days pass I calm, realizing there is a rhythm and that the sea won’t escape the shore.  Over time I begin to anticipate the movement and then rely on it.  I learn to live with the in and out nature of the water lapping the lip of sand; what it brings and what it takes away.  I am human.  I adapt.  I survive.  How do I make the jump to blessing the moon?  How do I touch the divine?

Forgive your common errors, make note of the uncommon

*

ENDLESS PASTA

Having limits, in a seemingly limitless universe,
makes me feel horribly inadequate.
I am a sad little creature
in the face of overwhelming tasks.

Pressure and unwarranted ego
compress my ability and eager disposition.
I am forced to see there are choices
outside my qualifications and willingness.

Going on in the face of crushing requirements
extrudes my life force into a plateful of capellini
Lying exposed with no gravy to keep me warm
it is hard to realize in this world of wonder and delight
a plate of naked spaghetti can’t do it all.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

No Substitute for Fire

October 1

No Substitute for Fire

I wanted alcohol to do better for me than burning did.  I was constantly disappointed, yet I kept trying.  I was not to find pleasure in that bottle though I had no problem finding addiction there.  This is how I came to believe that there is not an upside to everything.  Booze took me to surprising destinations, but never the ones I desired.  I sought release, the release I got from a wildfire spreading across my skin and this might have been mine had I poured the liquor on rather than in.  But in me it did no good, it never let me exhale the way that the “right” kind of pain did. What I got from alcohol drove me though; fear rode me roughshod and I found my way home, it was a bumpy road, but once there we doused the flames and I live the upside I had come to doubt, because fire is no substitute for life.

Randomize the alphabet, then write

*

MY MOON

I anticipate the crowning of your face

As you birth the sky.

Your rhythmic visitation sates me.

The gravity of my need keeps you close.

The tide of my heart pulls you from shore to shore.

We live in the sweet ecstasy of tethered love

Our souls slingshoting across the open palm of heaven

Your empathy for me transforms these shards of ice

To a tender heart satelliteing

I orbit you

Empowered by your kindness

You are my moon.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

why is it so hard to be me?

April 1

Why is it so hard to be me?

I have everything I could wish for.  I have love and friendship, I have talent and ability.  What more could I want?  I don’t want more, I want to learn how to overcome fear and live with disappointment.  Abundance is ever at the door, but I have no room for plenty.  Reassurance is the thing I chase after, yearn for, pine about, but it is an illusive thing like taking hold of smoke.  Allusion is the gift-wrap of reality the unwrapping often puts me off the contents; regaining my composure and reestablishing willingness is a difficult job requiring dedication and fortitude.  The barrier before the carefree me is thought the strongest of all substance.  I must heal the calcifications of my mind and resist rigidity.  My thinking is what makes being me problematic without it I am nothing at all. 

Free fun from the shackles of expectation

*

ACCEPTANCE, ACTION, CHANGE

Acceptance equals action
Without action, acceptance is a death sentence
Action puts me in the hands of my Higher power
Inaction puts me at the mercy of others or worse self-justification
For acceptance to glow with life it must be moving

Action equals change
Action without change is repetition
The moon does not change
It orbits flat on it's face, forever dark on one side
And a mere reflection on the other

Change equals acceptance
Change sparks possibilities in mundane endeavor
Change without acceptance is a walk off a cliff
For change to endure, agreement is necessary
A one-sided argument is fascism and fraudulence

The heart of change is acceptance
Beating the blood of hope to the extremities
Whether we circle the heavens
Or the bowl depends on the cohesion of
Acceptance, Action and Change

Today's Math

February 3

Today’s Math

Today is 12/06/06 this is an equation to me, 12 = 6 + 6, simple; not everything is, but math always works for me.   My Higher Power is math based and one of my major decision making tools is to run the equation of the presenting situation.  There are many constants in my life and those numbers are easier to calculate the variables often prove more difficult. Scalable problems allow for my Geometry.  Proofs are a comfort when I can get them.  Set Theory is what I settle for when I can’t.  I try to show all my work and have others check my calculations.  I can’t tell you how often a simple error in addition or subtraction has fouled my whole equation not to mention my equilibrium.  In conclusion I would like to say it is now 12= 9 + 6 and somehow I’ve lost three days, or did I gain them?  See how tricky the signs are.

Put misconception up for sale

*

HOW LIKE THE MOON

I show the shining bright face to the world
But cannot enumerate the dark.
I change and turn for all to see
Glowing sliver, to full fledged smile.

I inventory all phases
Can tell you from wax to wane
But the darkness, the anchor to my lonely life
I can only guess.

I feel my way across the unknown topography
Searching with fingers and faith
To find the secrets
Of this magic nightmare.

And What? What is the thing to break it?
Hope, Reverence, A detailed map
Or is the darkness just a fact,
Part of the big equation, the equalizer of the light?

If this is so, how best to live with it?
Continue the search or post barriers,
Go ever forward looking for an answer,
Endear myself to the void?

The choices are always mine
The way seldom clear.

Three Toys Floating

November 14

THREE TOYS FLOATING

I bat the ducks across the surface of my bath.  Soaking is supposed to calm me.  I’m waiting.  I assure you my impatience is no help to this process.  These yellow, tub-bound misfits grinning at me don’t fill me with the joy of living, either.  I have blown bubbles until I’m blue.  I smell like a French elevator from the bath oils.  My hair is stiff with conditioner; my face packed with mud.  “Do the right thing," said my sponsor.  She is such a pain.  Here I am, bubble bath to my armpits, and not a hint of peace.  Her question rings,  “What do you want?”  But isn’t it obvious?  If I knew that, what would I be doing wrinkling in this swilling vat?  I wouldn’t.  I would be out doing my ‘thing’, whatever that ‘thing’ is.  How I’m going to figure myself out I don’t know.  And ‘she’ is no help, (you know who ‘she’ is, she the sponsor lady) 

So what do I want?

World peace.       A clue.        Maybe just a hint.

But I know part of it.  I know more than I admit.

I want sobriety and happiness, dignity and respect, enough time to do these things, and love.

“Well," says she, “those things are easy.  Work the steps, then the traditions; practice them, do service, and take the advice you give to your own sponsees.”

I stick out my tongue in her general direction.

Creep toward the unknown.

*

Surfs Up

The first time I arrive at the beach the tide is a shock to me.

I had no way to anticipate it.

As the days pass I calm, realizing there is a rhythm

and that the sea won’t escape the shore.

Over time I begin to anticipate the movement

and then rely on it.

I learn to live with the in and out nature of the water

lapping the lip of sand;

What it brings and what it takes away.

I am human, I adapt, I survive.

How do I make the jump to blessing the moon?

How do I touch the divine?

My Moon

October 14

MY MOON

I anticipate the crowning of your face as you birth the sky.  Your rhythmic visitation sates me.  The gravity of my need keeps you close.  The tide of my heart pulls you from shore to shore.  We live in the sweet ecstasy of tethered love, our souls slingshotting across the open palm of heaven.  Your empathy for me transforms these shards of ice to a tender heart… satelliting.  I orbit you empowered by your kindness.  You are my moon.

Paint your face and print your profile.

*

Fair Fish

Tiny thoughts ping pong around my head

hoping to win a goldfish,

but what do I need with a five dollar fish?

How often do I pay too dearly,

for what is merely an animated ornament?

When I falter in self-esteem

I look to decorate my life through hostage taking

and other unfair practices.

I know I want to feel safe,

know that hiding gives the illusion of that.

It’s like the joke told about banging sticks

to keep the tigers away.

Does it work?  Yes, of course

as long as you are in a place with no tigers.

I can distract myself,

but I can not distract life;

life goes on and takes me with it, no matter my disguise.

Given this I can either spend my time

with a blindfold and a cigarette waiting for the end

or walk the midway and go ride the tilt-a-whirl.

How Like the Moon

February 4

HOW LIKE THE MOON

I show the shining, bright face to the world but can not enumerate the dark. I change and turn for all to see, glowing sliver to full fledged smile. I inventory all phases, can tell you from wax to wane, but the darkness, the anchor to my lonely life, I can only guess. I feel my way across the unknown topography, searching with fingertips and faith to find the secrets of this magic nightmare. And what? What is the thing to break it? Hope? Reverence? A detailed map? Or is the darkness just a fact? Part of the big equation, the equalizer of the light? If this is so, how best to live with it? Continue the search or post barriers? Go ever forward, looking for an answer? Endear myself to the void?

The choices are always mine. The way, seldom clear.

Breathe with power.

*

Today’s Math

Today is 12/06/06 this is an equation to me,

12 = 6 + 6, simple.

Not everything is, but math always works for me.

My Higher Power is math based

and one of my major decision making tools

is to run the equation of the presenting situation.

There are many constants in my life

and those numbers are easier to calculate

the variables often prove more difficult.

Scalable problems allow for my Geometry.

Proofs are a comfort when I can get them.

Set Theory is what I settle for when I can’t.

I try to show all my work

and have others check my calculations.

I can’t tell you how often a simple error

in addition or subtraction has fouled my whole equation

not to mention my equilibrium.

In conclusion I would like to say it is now 12= 9 + 6

and somehow I’ve lost three days, or did I gain them?

See how tricky the signs are.

Surfs Up

November 16

Surfs Up

The first time I arrive at the beach the tide is a shock to me. I had no way to anticipate it. As the days pass I calm, realizing there is a rhythm and that the sea won’t escape the shore. Over time I begin to anticipate the movement and then rely on it. I learn to live with the in and out nature of the water lapping the lip of sand; what it brings and what it takes away. I am human. I adapt. I survive. How do I make the jump to blessing the moon? How do I touch the divine?

Forgive your common errors, make note of the uncommon

*

ENDLESS PASTA

Having limits, in a seemingly limitless universe,
makes me feel horribly inadequate.
I am a sad little creature
in the face of overwhelming tasks.

Pressure and unwarranted ego
compress my ability and eager disposition.
I am forced to see there are choices
outside my qualifications and willingness.

Going on in the face of crushing requirements
extrudes my life force into a plateful of capellini
Lying exposed with no gravy to keep me warm
it is hard to realize in this world of wonder and delight
a plate of naked spaghetti can’t do it all.