Napping

April 16

NAPPING

Too often, I have lifted the edge of the lawn in an attempt to join the worms for a bit of a dirt nap.  Or I crawled into a self-constructed cave to bear my feelings and hibernate from life.  The times I sprint with the deer, jumping the fences in hopes of escaping the wolves, these are all the times when I forget who I am.  I forget to ask direction, fail to make a meeting.  Seeing those of my ilk puts my feet on the ground, focuses my perspective on just what sort of creature I am.  I can’t always follow my instincts when I don’t know who I am.  I can’t see myself until I stand next to you.

Relax one toe at a time.

*

In Training

Like a faithful dog that was hard to train,

patience is a thing hoped for

yet peevish during the breaking in.

Stanch companionability is hard won,

but worth the cost of acquisition.

And what is the price I truly paid in the end;

whatever I gave in the pursuit of patience

was a cheap babysitter

and kept me from far worse reformation.

For what would I do in this late day and age

as a tempest torn toddler,

no bottle to sooth my woes and bothers.

Strictly speaking this is a world ill suited

to the edgy intolerant masses

and only seems to fit those who can mark time and bend.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Sanitized

June 13

Sanitized

All the water in the well gone dry belongs to me.  Such an offer, how could I refuse?  I stand as near the edge as I can get and try my best to peer, is the goldfish alive?  For you see this is still my best hope, you, the source are also my wishing well, more than just survival you are prospect, neigh dream.  You say that what’s left is mine, but you think of it as incidental, not a need, merely a want.  Someplace deep, beyond where you admit, you know that life is dependant on desire, but will play mine off as casual when it becomes inconvenient to your drives and blindness.  Eunuchs do not immediately perish, but you must confess they do not live.  I stand here a lock to which there is no longer a key and whether I am open or closed it doesn’t matter for the partnership of change is desiccated and I do not care for a waterless solution. 

Check yourself for false steps

*

INVENTORY

When you say “self” who do you mean

Asked my sponsor

Do you mean the lovely velvet child,

Or the façade you built to show others?

Well I wish I could answer you, I do, my reply.

I see the shrine you construct in your sobriety

I love that you made it.

When you talk about ridding yourself of self--

I doubt you mean this edifice.

Do you speak of some creature in the past

Do you know of whom you speak

Are you parroting, then assuming this thing exists

Solely for you to now dispose of it?

I thought “self”  was self-evident- I feebly interject.

I want names and locations

If you only suspect some of these entities

Please provide me with a full accounting of your suspicions

I also want, to the best of your ability, the origin of these individuals

I am unwilling to cosign their disposal without a proper bookkeeping

I see by the bright look on your face,

I have made myself clear, she said with conviction.

So this is what you meant by self-inventory, I say and sigh.