Imperturbable

April 26

Imperturbable

Perfectionism is a cover, a blanket of lead; hard to move and rich with poison.  What it tries to hide is my unwillingness to struggle and strive.  It’s not a fear of failure, but the horror of success after a long hot pursuit.  If I can stall on the intricacies of the first move there is no further movement.  If I can fail before I begin there is no sweat, no stain, no stink.  Catastrophe is no bother, but skinned knees are my undoing.  Winning is not so important to me; my unfortunate goal is to look untroubled.

Snap a picture of your beliefs

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TRANSITIONS

During the months of winter

The trees stand tall and leafless

Static in their appearance, frozen in direction

The insurgence of spring brings to life the truth

The buds and flowers show the draw of the their owners

The pull of life from the earth and sky.

Other trees have begun to restore the gifts so graciously given

These leafless giants open themselves

As home and sustenance to the surrounding community

Returning favors and flavors, coming to terms with wholeness

Celebrations of all I have, call for me to give back

Even during the time when we all look the same.

Roles

May 10

ROLES

“You don’t have to give up playing God because it was a bad thing to do," said my sponsor in her most gentle voice.  “You have to give it up because it doesn’t work.  In a world seemingly spinning out of control, you, brave child, stepped up to the plate and took a swing.  That is heroic, not demonic, but impractical nevertheless.  You have to be your own full-time job even when it feels like there are other jobs left unfilled.  You don’t have to run around finding the feet that fit those empty shoes, either.  Maybe those empty shoes are just bait for a bad trap.  Keep on your journey and I think you will come to a place where the work is being accomplished by a surprising cast of characters.  You will be free to stick to the role ahead of you.”

Taste your thoughts carefully and spit out the rancid ones.

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Out Standing in My Field

Trying to remove expectations is like trying to unseed a field;

it is damn near impossible until something crops up,

though when it does I must act swiftly lest things take root.

Tedious as it is weeding the fields

of unreasonable expectancy saves me from

so much frustration later on.

I don’t recognize it

but expectations are like little dictators forever ruling me,

leaving no room for God or direction,

not to mention flexibility or change.

Tap roots dive for the vein

and my life depends on fleet elimination of unsuitable desire.

I can want. I can strive.

I can not leave expectations to grow in my garden.