Frustrating Improvement

October 7

FRUSTRATING IMPROVEMENT

Improvement is frustrating, lonely and yet exhilarating.  It somehow starts with moths in the stomach and ends up with that warm soup satisfaction.  Struggle, waiting, followed by further struggle; progress is made by tugging one string then the other.  It is hard to accept scaling the ropes alone, but tottering assent is always this way.  Once at the top I realize how easily I could slide to the bottom, sometimes friction is all that keeps me up.  Establishing a new altitude is challenging; I must ground myself in a new way.  My talents hinder and aid me.  I must open the correct doors in my mind and avoid the traps in the floor.  Stuttering through requirements and obligations I transform but only slowly, earning each drop of comfort from a job just done.

Think smart, speak clearly.

*

Wasilla

I don’t appreciate those who wear ignorance

as a fashion accessory,

but then I have to work too hard,

not to wear intolerance as a badge of courage.

So what can I really say, while I’m on this topic,

what kind of game is “Playing Dumb”

where do we get with that as the vehicle?

I don’t know why grown folks

act like corralled farm animals,

nor do I comprehend the idea of salvation

through unnecessary sacrifice,

But here I am in a society riddled with it

and I try not to drink in the face of this idiocy.

this is a job for which I am unprepared.

I have spent so much time feeling my internal lacking,

that when facing the siphon created by the general public

I start looking for a glass and some ice to tinkle,

I have tried this before and it solved nothing.

I can climb under this pile of human failing

or try to crawl on top.

What I really must learn

is to look at it without a drink in my hand.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Life is Unfair

February 19

LIFE IS UNFAIR

Assuring myself I will not be permitted through the gate, I walk the perimeter, assessing the fence, looking for a place to exploit, a wire slightly high.  Trying to look graceful, I duck under the fence, telling myself I prefer life on the edge.  The water is less dangerous here on the fringe; I wouldn’t want to be swept away.  I stay clear of my peers.  I stand in the baby pool and feel confident I won’t drown, brushing from my conscience that I won’t swim either.

Struggling to the top of the pile or scurrying underneath is a blatant lack of humility.  Skirting the margin is the same.  Facing life and finding it unfair, I take to the world of exception and hope to slip through the cracks to a life of safety.  In that act I discount my talent and ability.  Worst of all, I disconnect from God.

Toy with your thoughts, play with your food.

*

Jenny

Though ignorance may be bliss,

living in the shadow of someone else’s

ignorance is sheer hell.

The confusion is bad, but the lies are worse.

Want to cripple a child for life

give it to a well meaning fool

who has the rule book to the wrong board game,

That child will grow to need crutches they don’t make

and medicine they can’t brew.

Dependent on misguided insanity the child will require

a miracle cure and may lack the ability to ingest it.

Best case scenario the kid makes a brave escape

into a world she can barely comprehend,

worse case she turns the rule book upside down

and reads it backwards to her own unfortunate brood.

Ignorance is always a twilight proposition,

half agreement the other half handcuffed nightmare.

Full consent is by necessity impossible

while blameless innocents is similarly unachievable.

The only suggestion I can make

from this side of the looking glass

is to pick your poison and plan your getaway.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Harriet Powers

December 27

Harriet Powers

Like a creature with a long tale told in a hushed voice.  The whispers tell the story with inflection and innuendo.  I slink away from the mirror and the disembodied voices it engenders.  Thirty versions of my past spin away from me in the eddies of time gone and misremembered.  I gather my fragments and tatters; I thread my needle and sit to quilt me into the present.  The odd assortment left from all which has worn out or been pulled apart fit in a pinwheel pattern and turn toward a better day.  The night is warmer for now I have it covered, settled and safe, perhaps now I might even sleep.

Use a crutch if you have to but move

*

Best so Far

Being the best so far doesn’t mean so awful much

Makes you the current standard bearer is all

Not even keeper of the watch.

I can’t give you a torch to hold

Certainly not a title either of Daddy or of Din

You will find your way through this morass

Keep your courage if not your cast

But this is a hard thing my dear, dear friend

Because the old tricks they don’t work no more

And the new tools ain’t broke in.

And lest I should forget

Just because you say you have a sense of humor about yourself

Doesn’t mean you have it

And when you try to take me to hand

It doesn’t mean you ken it

And all the days that dreams drift by

It doesn’t mean they’re yours and mine

For time must play its evil trick

And leave good things to pass by us

But this doesn’t mean that hope is lost

Or even that I’ve found it

Only that peace is a thing which seeps

And pressing will confound it

So maybe when you are pushing seventy

And are sober nearly as I am now

I will read this to you

And we will laugh

For by then being the best so far

Will matter a little more and hurt a little less.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Wasilla

October 8

Wasilla

I don’t appreciate those who wear ignorance as a fashion accessory, but then I have to work too hard, not to wear intolerance as a badge of courage, so what can I really say, while I’m on this topic, what kind of game is “Playing Dumb” where do we get with that as the vehicle?  I don’t know why grown folks act like corralled farm animals, nor do I comprehend the idea of salvation through unnecessary sacrifice, but here I am in a society riddled with it and I try not to drink in the face of this idiocy.  This is a job for which I am unprepared, I have spent so much time feeling my internal lacking that when facing the siphon created by the general public I start looking for a glass and some ice to tinkle, but I have tried this before and it solved nothing.  I can climb under this pile of human failing or try to crawl on top, but what I really must learn is to look at it without a drink in my hand.    

Count displaced souls

*

REFLECTIONS OF YOU

When people meet me they listen and stare
Then the familiar words tumble from their mouths,
“There is something about you”.

I know it’s the reflection of every person I saw
at the meeting last night, the sober voices that created them
also the mirror of years spent in rooms just the same.

I know this is what is seen in me
the bright light shines on me and the prism of time
fans the colors to my new acquaintance.

I thank my Higher Power for letting me be a
spectral instrument and I am grateful to the fellowship
for shining the light on and through me.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

T before S

August 11

T before S

When happiness is hard work I have to learn to look for the lie.  There must be a lie for happiness flows unrestrained when not dammed.  What was built too far up river for me to see, dries out my once liquid existence; leaving me to flounder in the shallows.  I can’t allow myself to flop in the muck of waters muddied with deceit.  I will permit myself to look for clear bright prospects from melting glaciers and accustom myself to the invigoration of a life lived under a loving watchful eye.

Keep water near by

*

KILLER SQUIRRELS

AND OTHER SOBER DRAMA

I can tell you stories to make your hair curl.

Death defying fifth steps,

Speaking commitments with microphoned podiums,

Sponsees with killer squirrels trapped in the house.

The courage and sheer determination

Needed to face plague, after crisis, after pestilence

And yet sober mind and willing heart these travails

Are surmounted and we live on.

Tears turn to laughter with rescue and remedy

How strong we feel as the cape is passed

When one time panic prone sponsees

Become the model of calm and stable sponsors.

Hoards of relatives at holidays,

Interaction with bankers, police officers

And all manner of people in shiny shoes

Are handled with grace and boundaries.

Porch loving skunks, children becoming teenagers,

Are faced with humor and wit.

Things which in years gone by would have sent us screaming

To the phone are now casual asides during after meeting discussion.

Life does keep spinning on

But we learn how to stand still.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault