Roles

May 9

ROLES

“You don’t have to give up playing God because it was a bad thing to do," said my sponsor in her most gentle voice.  “You have to give it up because it doesn’t work.  In a world seemingly spinning out of control, you, brave child, stepped up to the plate and took a swing.  That is heroic, not demonic, but impractical nevertheless.  You have to be your own full-time job even when it feels like there are other jobs left unfilled.  You don’t have to run around finding the feet that fit those empty shoes, either.  Maybe those empty shoes are just bait for a bad trap.  Keep on your journey and I think you will come to a place where the work is being accomplished by a surprising cast of characters.  You will be free to stick to the role ahead of you.”

Taste your thoughts carefully and spit out the rancid ones.

*

Out Standing in My Field

Trying to remove expectations is like trying to unseed a field;

it is damn near impossible until something crops up,

though when it does I must act swiftly lest things take root.

Tedious as it is weeding the fields

of unreasonable expectancy saves me from

so much frustration later on.

I don’t recognize it

but expectations are like little dictators forever ruling me,

leaving no room for God or direction,

not to mention flexibility or change.

Tap roots dive for the vein

and my life depends on fleet elimination of unsuitable desire.

I can want. I can strive.

I can not leave expectations to grow in my garden.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Jane Street

April 30

Jane Street

The space between wanting to live and not wanting to hurt is the alley in which I live.  This lane is not as narrow as you might think, in some places there is room for parking on one side.  Since I reside here more often than not I have filled it with many of the appliances, which allow me to pretend at life.  It doesn’t afford a truly clean or cheerful locale, but there are laughs, sometimes flowers in the spring.  Finding my way out of this is tricky.  When unlocked I find these are backdoors to commerce and though better than being sold wholesale, retail is not what I was hoping to find as I wrest myself from a confined existence.  I have heard of those who drive through   plate glass ignoring the structure.  I think this is less workable from the back.  What is left when I can’t bully or climb?  I guess I will have to throw my hands up and pray.

Acknowledge a myth about yourself

*

ROLES

You don’t have to give up playing God

Because it was a bad thing to do.

You have to give it up because it doesn’t work

Said my sponsor in her most gentle voice.

In a world seemingly spinning out of control

You, brave child, stepped up to the plate and took a swing

That is heroic not demonic

But impractical nevertheless

You have to be your own full-time job

Even when it feels like there are other jobs left unfilled

You don’t have to run around finding the feet

To fill those empty shoes

Maybe those empty shoes are just bait for a bad trap

Keep on your journey and you will come to a place where the work

Is being accomplished by a surprising cast of characters

You will be free to stick to the role ahead of you.

Before the End of the Road

November 5

BEFORE THE END OF THE ROAD

Before the end of the road tiny stone lay on the side, freshly painted lines glimmer in this twilight trance.  Walking the macadam, the crunch underfoot changes my perspective.  No steering wheel or accelerator, this is ankle express all the way.  Walking the road step by step, on my own, I am part of the soft and growing world progressing on a plan of separate integrity.  Moist, lush wonder is missed by the motor speedway I let rule my life.  Honeyed sweetness covers the vegetation swaying in the undulating airborne pulse.  I am tempted to lie down and have a roll, but my role tonight is to reach the end of the road.  When my goal is achieved I may choose a woodland life or an urban endeavor.  Seeing the end of this path is job enough for now.  Decisions anticipated prior to arrival are foolish diversions.  I need to stay, not stray, with the dancers in the wind.

Execute the detractors in your mind.

*

Let the Groundhog Sing It

Mistakes and poor choices save me

from attempting to climb out onto moral high ground.

Moral ambiguity keeps me protected

from the illusion of relentless righteousness.

Lopsided living is a fate I am spared

due to my flawed execution of perfection;

all in a day’s work for a functional human.

Left by the wayside is the fantasy that I am all right.