I Beg

August 7

I Beg

The embarrassment of need is a haunting guest who will not leave.  I turn in a tight circle trying to find a way to detach  this wart and move gracefully from the site of devastation, but it looms large and overshadows today’s possibilities and robs tomorrows gold.  What I cannot do for myself, the magic I cannot yet perform, stands between me and contentment, stands there wearing your face; touching my mind with your fingertips.  I pray that you are not the answer for I cannot depend on you, but I think of you and the little bell rings and I am hungry.  Desire is a gift.  Desiring you is the burden whose shadow I can’t escape.   I close my eyes to the light you emit; I cannot close my heart.  All that’s left is pleading; please come home and fill me or leave and lock the door and let me grieve in peace.

Treat your health like your job, treat your health like your investment, treat your health like your life; it is

*

ROCK BOTTOM PRICES

Marble topped dressers, dry sinks and wardrobes,

Stand in the auctioneer’s warehouse

Showing loving use and obvious value.

The hungry consumers peruse the merchandise

Looking for the perfect pieces

To fit their need.

Old men eating ice cream sandwiches pick their way through

The rows of tidbits laid out on the lawn,

Bargains to fill odd spaces and little desires.

So like out meeting places, people trying to refurnish their lives.

The cost to arrive may have been high

But once in, the market is more than fair.

We reclaim relics and we use them as road signs and warnings.

There is always someone around to carry large truths home

And no one has to go away empty handed.

We bid on our own survival by buying someone else a break.

Time passes easily as the one at the podium

Recounts the rock bottom prices.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

I didn't mean to make you laugh

August 6

I didn’t mean to make you laugh

You think I’m witty, well, yes, I have always been like this, no one knew quite what to do with me as a small child, but I have grown into this acumen, or possibly grown out into it is closer to accurate.  I was dark witted when I was young, I think of myself as less so now, optimism is a blessing I have gained through the years, it feels good and I keep it close. I need to be a blithe spirit to travel the road I do.  Tears have their place, I know that for sure, but I rather not go around with a puss on all day and all night.  Additionally it is so much about perspective; you see, the honey makes the peas taste funny but at least now they stick to my knife.

Assign colors to numbers

*

I AM

I am my own hope.

The spring of willingness flows within me

And makes everything possible.

I am my own dream.

Colors and sprinkles fly in my mind

And mix with a sprite’s laugh

And make me enchanted.

I am my own joy.

Filled with wonder and delight,

My quick turns and ready mind warm

My heart and pink my checks.

I am my own prize.

New and exciting

Every day that I am myself,

I win.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

What are We fighting for

August 5

What are We Fighting For

Instead of competition for dominance we would benefit from cooperation for survival.  The struggle to become the very best destroyers in the world very well might make us postmortem champions.  Why is it that the lions don’t work to eradiate hyenas?  They could, but they don’t.  Why not, is the ever present question on my mind.  I have no answer as to why we strive to conquer.  A thousand platitudes come to my head, but nothing fast or tight, nothing that holds water.  So, the question remains; why are we hell bent?

Welcome help

*

MY TALE

I must be my own tattletale.

I must give my sponsor bullets to shoot down my disease

Anything I nurture and protect will grow and take me over.

It is up to me to choose if I will feed my ailment or my health

My life will be consumed that is a guarantee,

All things feed into others.

The direction this meal takes is my daily decision.

The bull’s eye can be hit if I describe the target.

The ending will be happy if the story I tell is my own.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Sleep Tight

August 4

Sleep Tight

Did you dream?  Sleep the sleep of faultless souls?  Or twist the sheets as in that Gilbert & Sullivan treatment?  Are night time wrestlings an indication of decadent day- time activity?  Or is it all simply a matter of happenstance?  Possibly something I ate? Thought? Wished for?  I think to myself I should not have gotten into that unmade bed, should have made it up; the bed and my mind, should have straighten out the crumpled mass of discarded dreams from yesterday and started fresh, but instead  I climbed in with it all tumbled and tossed, lumpy and coarse, no smooth sailing in this tangled sea.  What time I might have saved by leveling the playing field and plumping the pillows.  All is not lost, there is always tonight.  Sweet dreams straight ahead.

Throw the ball even if you can’t pitch it

*

NEVER LET GO

When it grows dark on one side of transparency

The other becomes reflective.

When addiction doesn’t hold a flame for me

I see the true face of its results.

Because I know now the destructive possibilities

I must print the picture and post it on the wall.

For the day may come when addiction appears

As a light for me and the mirror will be gone.

I need to keep clear the truth even when my eyes lie to me

And my sensibilities catch on fire.

The glass can be the boundary or the tumbler,

The glare of day can be harsh or bright.

Light is forever shifting

I cannot count on shadows for predictions.

I must know it when I see it, chant it to remember

And hold hands and never let go.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Big Name

August 3

Big Name

My name has a foreign sound; my head turns when it is called.  I recognize this as training not identity.  I remember teaching the dog her name.  I called it while petting and praising her, soon the name was hers.  Now, I think of G-d.  Did we call long and loud enough to trigger name recognition on a vast intangible?  Is this how we tagged and labeled the unknowable; assigned it a place on a shelf; somewhere to be called up from? Does that noise sound as strange as the syllables of my name sound to me?  Does it matter as long as we answer?

Check for low doorbells and high expectations

*

PARADOX OF PARADISE

Paradise is created when I collect paradox and live with it.

Paradise is the set of acceptance and suspended disbelief.

If anything is possible accepting what comes is less heart wrenching.

If I arrest my misgivings

Gratification in the voluptuousness of now ---is velvet.

Vague consent is a Hell of incapacity.

Fighting fiercely for both sides

Keeps the heart pumping and the mind at bliss.

I must work to embrace contradiction and happiness

.

There is more than one path to take

And I must take that one.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

In Plain Sight

August 2

In Plain Sight

When there is a problem, I hide.  As the good places diminish I end up standing behind a pole.  The trouble with this is that something always sticks out.  I try weight loss, I suck in my tummy, I try to blend with the scenery.  Once spotted I act nonchalant; “I’m just hanging around with my skinny friend; nothing is the matter,” attempting to cover with a casual aside what is apparent to everyone but me.  I would be better off parading naked than endeavoring this piteous disguise.  I can’t fool the crowd and trying to makes a fool of me.  What I have forgotten is that clarity and diligence removes the target from my back and makes me invisible to almost everyone.  When I solve my problem I solve this problem too.

Permit anxiety to drip off you and flow away

*

WALKING JOY HOME

I make sure to walk joy home,

Not because I doubt her ability to find it alone

Rather because it gives me extra time with her.

I used to fear joy.

That I would be intoxicated by her presents

And lose my well-hardened grasp on realism.

Now I see that without joy in my life there is no realism

That it was only cynicism

Masquerading in its place.

Joy is simple and unassuming,

I often confuse her with ecstasy and scoot away in shy terror

Joy is nice to have around she is not just a party animal.

Sometimes I invite her over for a cup of tea.

When we are done I take the winding path

To savor every step up to her door.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Porcellano

August 1

Porcellano

Some days I feel like a porcelain doll; hard head, hard hands, hard feet and everywhere else is soft, gormless.  I feel useless and act out my feelings, stumbling through a day of pointless inactivity.  I know that I belong on a shelf or propped upon the pillows of a bed, not fine enough for curio or collection, merely someone of marginal decorative value.  I have gotten away from the meaning of me, the thrum of G-d’s intentions and am trapped in this world of elaboration; everything is embellished and nothing is real.  It is time to put my foot down; to feel the earth solid and right, to catch my mind and take it out of its greasy spin.  I am not a China doll and it is time to walk away from these purloined thoughts.

Wear a white cotton cord around your waist

*

I KNOW

I know more than I understand.

I know more than I let on.

I know right from wrong

Left from right, uphill from down.

I know you have my best interest at heart

I know I often don’t.

I know it hurts when I fall

But holding on isn’t easy.

I know that wanting is not needing

And needing is not enough

I know old thinking breeds old action

But new thinking is often wild

And requires two minds for review.

I know to look three ways before crossing the street

Because trouble sometimes hits head on.

I know that if life is the question, yes is the answer

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault