Access

August 4

ACCESS

Writing to you, my Sweet, allows me to give what I have available at the moment it comes into my possession.  You reading me lets you invite me in when you are ready or willing, possibly both.  I can store succulent treasure for you without the least consideration of freezer burn or apathy.  You are here when I want you, yearning and prepared.  I am yours for the taking in the classroom, the bedroom, or even in your bath.  I can whisper or shout to you, rant or tell jokes at you.  You can embrace or ignore me, introduce me to friends or keep me your own personal province.  We are intimates because I bare my soul to you and you take me into yours.

Recommend your assets.

*

Sleep Tight

Did you dream?

Sleep the sleep of faultless souls?

Or twist the sheets

as in that Gilbert & Sullivan treatment?

Are night time wrestlings an indication

of decadent daytime activity?

Or is it all simply a matter of happenstance?

Possibly something I ate, thought, wished for?

I think to myself,

I should not have gotten into that unmade bed,

should have made it up; the bed and my mind,

should have straighten out the crumpled mass

of discarded dreams from yesterday and started fresh

But instead  I climbed in with it all tumbled and tossed,

lumpy and coarse, no smooth sailing in this tangled sea.

What time I would have saved by leveling

the playing field and plumping the pillows.

All is not lost, there is always tonight.

Sweet dreams straight ahead

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Amends

January 28

AMENDS

Amends is about truth and change.  The relationships of my past were places of little truth and even less change.  I tried to be nice not honest; I tried to keep things going even when they needed to die.  Making amends has ended most of my relationships from the past.  A quick strong 10^th step keeps me from starting too many new ones.  Good healthy relationships require time and attention, so this necessitates a short list.  Sometimes I wish for more quantity, but I realize in sobriety I cannot accept less quality.

Tie your shoes with humor.

*

Simplicity Itself

My life runs at a Gilbert and Sullivan pace,

with about as much sense and comic relief.

You say 'keep it simple'

and my disease says 'why ruin a good play?’

The truth is this is not play at all

but a work that consumes my life from me

and doesn't thank me for my time.

Simplicity for me requires respect,

a gift I selectively give myself

a gift that I often use only as a shield during battle.

My past method of increased self-respect

is life in a war zone, this is no solution.

Release of grief, this is the onerous path I avoid taking.

Purging the wrong thinking and action of others

from my blood, my eyes, my skin,

allows me to lift my chin and square my soul.

To plumb and level living,

don self-respect as a birth right

and set a calendar fit for plausible life, a simple life.

You are reading selections from Sober on the Way to Sane and More Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/Sober-On-The-Way-Sane/dp/1440417342/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576888&sr=8-1&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/More-Lines-From-My-Life/dp/1448677203/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388576956&sr=8-1&keywords=More+Lines+From+My+Life

Sleep Tight

August 4

Sleep Tight

Did you dream?  Sleep the sleep of faultless souls?  Or twist the sheets as in that Gilbert & Sullivan treatment?  Are night time wrestlings an indication of decadent day- time activity?  Or is it all simply a matter of happenstance?  Possibly something I ate? Thought? Wished for?  I think to myself I should not have gotten into that unmade bed, should have made it up; the bed and my mind, should have straighten out the crumpled mass of discarded dreams from yesterday and started fresh, but instead  I climbed in with it all tumbled and tossed, lumpy and coarse, no smooth sailing in this tangled sea.  What time I might have saved by leveling the playing field and plumping the pillows.  All is not lost, there is always tonight.  Sweet dreams straight ahead.

Throw the ball even if you can’t pitch it

*

NEVER LET GO

When it grows dark on one side of transparency

The other becomes reflective.

When addiction doesn’t hold a flame for me

I see the true face of its results.

Because I know now the destructive possibilities

I must print the picture and post it on the wall.

For the day may come when addiction appears

As a light for me and the mirror will be gone.

I need to keep clear the truth even when my eyes lie to me

And my sensibilities catch on fire.

The glass can be the boundary or the tumbler,

The glare of day can be harsh or bright.

Light is forever shifting

I cannot count on shadows for predictions.

I must know it when I see it, chant it to remember

And hold hands and never let go.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

http://www.amazon.com/More-Sober-The-Way-Sane/dp/144141231X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1374072329&sr=8-3&keywords=sober+on+the+way+to+sane

http://www.amazon.com/Lines-My-Life-Sherrie-Theriault/dp/1448652820/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1374072576&sr=1-1&keywords=Lines+from+my+life%2C+Sherrie+theriault

Simplicity Itself

January 27

Simplicity Itself

My life runs at a Gilbert and Sullivan pace, with about as much sense and comic relief.  You say 'keep it simple' and my disease says 'why ruin a good play?’  The truth is this is not play at all but a work that consumes my life from me and doesn't thank me for my time. Simplicity for me requires respect, a gift I selectively give myself; a gift that I often use only as a shield during battle.  My past method of increased self-respect is life in a war zone.  This is no solution.  Release of grief, this is the onerous path I avoid taking.  Purging the wrong thinking and action of others from my blood, my eyes, my skin, allows me to lift my chin and square my soul to plumb and level living, don self-respect as a birth right and set a calendar fit for plausible life, a simple life.

If you are not a hero in your own home you are not a hero

*

HIDE AND SEEK

I have sought You
High and Low
But like the rain
You have always found me.

I like a cold, wet cat on a winters day
Peer into warm lit windows
Hoping
You will be home.

I seek to keep moving
You find me for some unknown reason.
I have given up
Naming You.

I trust You know who you are

 In spite of the fact I do not.
You are places I don't know
Doing things I think better of.

Citing the list of errands I daily make for You,
Not to beleaguer You
But the unfinished list of history
Trails out of my pocket.

I worry I may possess
Your only copy
Of this Injustice List.

There have been days of peace
Days I don't think too much.
Days I turn away from
My history lessons and future projections.

My ultimate problem is with the equal sign
I run the numbers and it figures inequity.
I check my calculations and shake
The calculator of my mind.

Deeply, I fear
You're a one god
And do not comprehend
The implications of zero.

If you multiply with only things above naught
You may be unaware of nothingness.
The empty things I feel
When I can't seem to find you.

Self-possessed - insensitive of the cipher
Your dimensions stay positive.
Bring me into Your realm or join me in the void.

I seek You
But You have found me.

Access

August 4

ACCESS

Writing to you, my Sweet, allows me to give what I have available at the moment it comes into my possession.  You reading me lets you invite me in when you are ready or willing, possibly both.  I can store succulent treasure for you without the least consideration of freezer burn or apathy.  You are here when I want you, yearning and prepared.  I am yours for the taking in the classroom, the bedroom, or even in your bath.  I can whisper or shout to you, rant or tell jokes at you.  You can embrace or ignore me, introduce me to friends or keep me your own personal province.  We are intimates because I bare my soul to you and you take me into yours.

Recommend your assets.

*

Sleep Tight

Did you dream?

Sleep the sleep of faultless souls?

Or twist the sheets

as in that Gilbert & Sullivan treatment?

Are night time wrestlings an indication

of decadent daytime activity?

Or is it all simply a matter of happenstance?

Possibly something I ate, thought, wished for?

I think to myself,

I should not have gotten into that unmade bed,

should have made it up; the bed and my mind,

should have straighten out the crumpled mass

of discarded dreams from yesterday and started fresh

But instead  I climbed in with it all tumbled and tossed,

lumpy and coarse, no smooth sailing in this tangled sea.

What time I would have saved by leveling

the playing field and plumping the pillows.

All is not lost, there is always tonight.

Sweet dreams straight ahead

Amends

January 28

AMENDS

Amends is about truth and change. The relationships of my past were places of little truth and even less change. I tried to be nice not honest; I tried to keep things going even when they needed to die. Making amends has ended most of my relationships from the past. A quick strong 10^th step keeps me from starting too many new ones. Good healthy relationships require time and attention, so this necessitates a short list. Sometimes I wish for more quantity, but I realize in sobriety I cannot accept less quality.

Tie your shoes with humor.

*

Simplicity Itself

My life runs at a Gilbert and Sullivan pace,

with about as much sense and comic relief.

You say 'keep it simple'

and my disease says 'why ruin a good play?’

The truth is this is not play at all

but a work that consumes my life from me

and doesn't thank me for my time.

Simplicity for me requires respect,

a gift I selectively give myself

a gift that I often use only as a shield during battle.

My past method of increased self-respect

is life in a war zone, this is no solution.

Release of grief, this is the onerous path I avoid taking.

Purging the wrong thinking and action of others

from my blood, my eyes, my skin,

allows me to lift my chin and square my soul.

To plumb and level living,

don self-respect as a birth right

and set a calendar fit for plausible life, a simple life.